I Can Always Talk About Infinity And All The Things You Mean To Me

End of privilege, end of these Global elites.
There is no crown, royalty shall not be,
No sword in stone nor golden fleece,
I have not king, I have no queen,
No blue ribbon, or gold medal,
Only me, thee and becoming,
Been a long time coming
Dynamic expressions,
Center everywhere,
Infinite potential,
Circumference,
This is key
Nowhere.
Goddess
United
Freely
With
God
Eye
In
Me.
See
This
Life is
Endless
Eternity is
Created in us
Through us by us
We are the Gods here
We are the Goddesses, dare
I write it, the truth I’ve given to
Light in the darkness, we are the arks
Full of all existence, if we would but listen

Can you see or is it not apparent

Shaping The Clay; Myself

I feel the best time to create is when you’re hungry; They call us starving artists: It’s actually quite ironic since they are the vapid ones starving for our minds – hungry; I’m being sarcastic. It’s sad how they smoke like an empty pot – All their money can’t afford them a meal as this; I put marks to any medium, and I am fed. How could I ever be hungry? I’m the creator; I pull my own fucking ribs out, birth my equals, and if I choose to, I swallow them whole and put them right back. I am not looking for your justice. I am not looking for your empathy. I am looking for the blood, sweat, and tears that give way to the culmination of an entire cold pressed life; At the end you will drink it – Not one drop will go to waste.

I’ve watched the soft way my tools begin to shape you
You don’t take the direct route – No, you choose patience.
You don’t appear immediately in the initial stray lines.
We take our entire evenings for these types of beauties.
Watch intuitive understanding slowly pull you out of nothing
I’ve had my eyes focused intently on your ripening form
I’m not sure what else I’ve noticed today,
aside from the subtleties that make you – You.
That soft desire, your fiery demeanor when I strike you up,
I press hard on the lead to accent it all with the right cuts.

Emotionally intelligent people fuck up too, and because they understand so much more – It can be said that they fuck up far worse. The thing is their gift never comes with just the ability to read the emotions of others and feel deeply the hearts of those around them – No, emotional intelligence is not developed and honed in that way – You are not born with such a soft quality. It requires consistent shattering, to learn from navigating one’s own fissures. Knowing of your own faults, so that you might not overlook them when relating with those you engage with, is key; Wading at the edges of the river is not enough; Only those who have drowned in their own depths truly understand the emotions.

You forget to pause when the river waters surge so rapidly,
It’s about breathing correctly and not allowing yourself to fall behind.
Clearly it’s all timing, but at a deeper level it is so much more.
You aren’t just in the right place at the time moving along at pace;
No you have to hit a full breath as you make the stroke across,
Followed by a hold at the top not too long, nor too brief;
Allowing preparation for your exhale and waving of your wrist.
It very much matters what your other hand is doing, in the case that only one holds the tool.
It must be relaxed – Not completely though – Everything must be relaxed.
You’re not forgetting to breath now, right? See, it’s hard to follow along here.
I still have things to learn. I know what it is I’m doing, but until I can teach you I’ve got things to learn

In this bed you will find everything you fear and love.
It just comes down to whether you will settle for less than you deserve;
If not then you must take to action, Since not settling requires effort.

I Broke Once & Couldn’t Help But Stay Open Mouthed To This Universe

You feel that energy? Are you awake? Do you have any prior engagements? Should we get going or are we young right now? Shouldn’t we talk before experience hardens what we think we know? Wouldn’t it be a shame to find we are both wrong and everything we argued took an unnecessary toll? Bless this, Bless this – Can eternity teach us to let go? You ever observed the way two people can grab hold of a shared vision, and ride that trail all the way down to its blaze of glory?

Won’t you see me? Stay in faith,
Don’t I give the reason;
Feel this love and hate create the seasons,
To think that we’re blooming,
Something beautiful, spring should be soothing
doomed to glory, song of Achilles
Devour the world and call it leaving
Part the sea and call it bleeding,
Imagery too strong, put you on the ceiling
I’ll be burning at the stake,
Baby won’t you put out my flames

It’s painful when I get into this state; Oh are you worried about me? Do you want to make some mistakes? I am not always opposed to doing the things you like, but every now and again I want to get on your nerves. Yes, I want to stand between all those synapses, spread my wing span and grab hold of them like I was the fucking conductor – I want you shocked – I want you hurling lightning bolts at me like you, goddess, were the usurper of Zeus himself. I want you to jolt me. Light me up in that labyrinth so all your lost thoughts might find their way to your tongue; And like a lightning rod send them straight down into my soul.

Oh girl I’m so loaded
Oh girl I’m so stoked and
I could really use a hand,
Sistine chapel, reach for man,
I’ve seen souls worse off than you,
As for me I have no clue.
Committed crimes I should of knew,
burned down bridges
Along side of you.
What’s the point,
Shouldn’t have shown you the vantage.
Now in the end you’re claiming I did all the damage

There’s a lot of things I don’t let you see. I’m not protecting you, I just think that some things you’re to find on your own, and it’d waste both of our times and energy; Maybe even stir a few things best laid to rest. I won’t stop you, but I won’t assist poor etiquette. Everyone wants more from you, why can’t we just be people, why does this have to go anywhere outside of where it is? Why can’t we just kiss to see where we land? Why can’t we just hold hands? I just want – No, that’s my concern now. I want, when I should be fine with nothing – Let’s just sleep before I lead us, with your permission, down the wrong path – Always ask before you reach for more.

I bet you feel that,
I’m about taking it over the edge,
From flat-lined,
Hear that gasp
It’s your second first heartbeat
I’d be slightly disappointed
If I saw you in the morning
Since you think you know me,
Got me all figured out like your life;
You think I am a monster – I’ll bite your neck.
The things you’re seeing are not all the pieces!
I welcome you to this party
But I see you still avoid me.
You romanticize all that other crap,
They put it to music and you lose your pants
That shit gets real and you close off
It’s wild how earlier I was drinking, drunk in love.
Now I’m driving, down on you is a dead end,
How intricate are your bed sheets?
I bet these are the expensive panties
I’m eating good now: It’s a lifestyle
It’s all too short to not be the better man
Really you’re so petty it amazes me.
Rather build a bridge to the middle of the ocean.
Here’s a hundred I’m not sticking around for breakfast.

I’d say it’s time to bloom, but I’ve still got more coming for you

Diadem’s Folly – 3

Arisen from my dreaming to such an alarm, I could hear not but my heart; blood running my veins. My guide, she stood still with locking gaze. If one could give silence after such an intimate use of blade then I should expect no word from her barren lips, but the complacency of these waking dreams – I still embrace to the warmth of such a cold chance – She cut her gaze towards East. I presume we are behind and without time. Yet she remains stoically leveled. For reason I could not discern, I sense this disconcerting calm would soon be stirred. She moves and simultaneously I alert to the falling of limbs cracking through the unsettled quiet of the wood. Her hand placed upon the trunk of a massive Wilder tree, not even a flinch as the splinters flew about the air whiffing her hair. Looking upon her demeanor I seem to replicate it. It’s as if every step she takes, every hand placed, works to awaken some great image within me. I feel urged to welcome it.

There is a reason we tread with a hop in our step.

They Still Lost That Bet

I’m exhausted. I’m altering my style. I’m coming at you more fiercely, I’m more direct. I know to pull when it starts to get too heated – We know to breathe when we get too out of breath, but we don’t slow our pace – We don’t want air as much as we want to feel a genuine burn in our lungs; You just need some laughs shot into those veins. You don’t take breaks like you should, and I go right on without lunch. You do not look me in the eyes like those few times, fuck; If you ever did stop time it was when you were mesmerizing me with those gems – As for my ability – I managed to slow it down a few occasions by reaching out my hand to call you back to bed; Really the clock nearly stopped when we were nose to nose.

Can I be soft for a night?
May I melt into the sidewalk?
Would a laugh attack be alright?
Could I wipe cake on your cheeks if I’ll lick you clean?
I know you’d hate that, but it’s the lion in me!
I’m a loud roar, and the playfulness of a child we all need
I’m never too dangerous,
You know that about me.
I’ll take you to the edge,
and hold you over just so you can see it
Will I let you go over? Only if you ask me

She won’t look at you, & you know you don’t deserve closure; Not like the kind you’d get from her gaze where when she closes her eyes – After she looks away, Like the sealing of the garden of Eden – You’ll never find yourself to be a smiling memory on her mind. You’ll be random triggers; She’ll end up pulling; But she’s not afraid, we’ve nothing to lose. These things are ambiguous, like short term parking or, to be fair – If that is possible – The look she gives you as she leaves the library. Or maybe she doesn’t. We’re just people making up stories in our heads to tell ourselves as we lay down to bed. It’s really not that complex, if you can get your neck out above the weeds.

Yes, Step up to this next level,
You’re the goddess and deserve this view of the temple
The key is to keep your feet moving
Regardless of the situation your grit keeps your tempo
Do you think this is a good time?
Do you feel like this could be your first life coming so high?
You could sing all night for a breath of air.
Silence would be the last note on the score,
Tune so good everyone hits repeat though;
It’s absolutely rude of me to listen to you again after you go.

Do you want another example of how I don’t let anything rest in my head? I know the dangers of taking things too far, but I also know the reward for risking sanity – The danger of being too safe is eating far more potential than my forays into depths of the unknown – Everything is calculated. You’re calculating right now. Should you look up? Should you focus on the possibility that what you’re seeking is directly before you? Or do you keep it on your mind while restricting where you stare off into the distance; Fearful that you might have to confront something your eyes land upon – It’s costly to live; You will always have nothing, giving everything each day; I told you before what Euler proved right? Do you know how much effort I have to exert to get crystal clear ice for these drinks? Not all that much if I take the time to use the right tools. Everything is about using the right tools for the task at hand; That is if your skill is lacking. You know that skilled individuals can accomplish more with less – So what are you waiting for?

The sky was so big it broke my soul,
Reached to hold hands, and I turned into an ocean;
Became part of what I knew I was,
So vast but we still fit inside the only cup

I know you’ve been waiting and it’s hard to keep up with how careful I’m being – With how I may or may not be acting. You should do whatever you want, this is your vigil. It will be your last breath after all. I know you; It’s hard to feed yourself; So much is hard to swallow. The quiet has its lulls. You have your lulls, when you let yourself collapse. Have you ever burned a forest? Have you ever built up that friction amongst the tinders of your soul and blew gently with your heart’s weepings to set everything at your back, everything that lays before you to waste so you might pull from the last smoldering cache; like a slow birth, one agonizing shriek at the singeing of your finger tips as you reach in accepting the charring of your palms, to rip from that mess of ash the last ember; The reason we burn our forests

You know your worth is more than my lost wings.
I did not cut them off for you;
But the gods still lost that bet on what I wouldn’t do.

I Know I’ve Been A Little Distant – I Put A Field Between Us

If you look up just for a minute you’ll melt the reach away.

I should warn you that it is quite a step more than that. You know how I get when I want things to challenge the conventions a bit. I thought about planting a few rose bushes next to the pumpkins and squash, but they drink so much. You don’t drink enough. Your roots are deep, I know you’ve been looking for this water. Come on I’ve filled up these buckets; This fresh water for your blooming – It’s all for you. Just cross this field. You just have to uproot yourself – Don’t be stuck; The Honey bees are waiting on your blossoms.

I wanted to get you flowers, but they take time to grow.
What I want shouldn’t be a weight around your neck,
I will wait for you to sprout again after the long winter,
I know the roots you’ve built will grow strong and robust.
Continue to bathe in this rain and you will open wide up
Soak in this sunshine and you will again shine bright
I’ll keep the noise down, I won’t rustle around too much

I know the field is dry, but we don’t need to be completely satiated from the start – It’s always much more enticing to be seeking something, to be fine, but able to hold a drink; This world is worth sharing a drink, right? It’s exact, how much I’ve mulled this over, I’ve muddled the berries just enough to get that sweet taste your tongue craves. This is not something they teach you. It is individual to your colors. You’re doing something here that no one else will be able to paint; Heavens, they’ll be jealous of everything if they try to come close to this. You know how that fairy kept you up all night – You just wanted a drink, a clean cut of cool to slide down your throat, and perhaps a drop you didn’t need – To splash from the crevice of your lips upon your décolletage

Shake your limbs;
Loosen the dirt around your roots,
come now you have it in you.
You will birth this forest grove
You will create this planet’s breath.
You will be the one who holds it all together,
You will be your own canopy shelter,
You are the life creator and shaper!
I’ve fallen to my knees on this:
Faith is not my haven,
Yet I can do no more than believe in you.

I should meet you because I’ve got this desire, but I can’t;
You know I can’t; I know I don’t get to make this call.

Sweet Dreaming Leaves None

Felt this deserved more love

Dirty Window Pane Poetry - An Experiment

People might not ask, but they do want to know how you feel. It’s this odd thing we do as individuals. Rarely do we reach out beyond, “How are you?”, spending countless moments fretting the emotions of others; whether they have considered similar thoughts to ours.

It builds up with the strength of a great storm, and we wonder why we’re restless. We wonder, “And why is it I can’t stay dreaming when I am tired?” Answer how many times while awake did you consider another’s heart. And what did you do about it? Not anything. You slept. So now you will wake when you try to close your eyes.

-IV

I’m here to stay

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Not Something We Could Continue To Drink From

So you failed to do the one thing that would allow you two to communicate again in the future?

I want to admit something here. There is no guilt attached to this – I suppose this requires changing the initial stance. To admit something one usually attaches a bit of reluctance. I’m making my statement; I’ve made a lot of choices, and they all keep rushing by as the breeze does. They pass as the breath through your lips, and they are past. A season for nurturing, for growing, for learning, all one in the cycle of becoming – The wonder at this stage is where have I not gone? I’ve long been up in these clouds laying around trying to be down to some type of reality that fits my sense of originality, but the case is strong that you; Yes, you are not reality. The way you use words though are as hard hitting as an upset fist against my walls; Unrelenting… Without pull, I follow through. Place your open palm hungry upon this cage and listen for that faint faith, that sign of the eternal sun… that eased hand will bring you to balance.

I wanna kiss you,
Worthy of my words,
To feel soothed,
Drowned in rhyme,
This river of lines
Flowing, caressing,
Harnessing the power,
Of what beats in these chests
And you are the chalice,
You are the peak,
Of the highest mountain,
The truest of my soul,
The mirror you do hold,
Far more value
Than all the world’s gold
And it is intrinsic, within you,
I want to kiss you,
Beauty in the temple
To go further is natural,
Climbing up, you are such,
That gives me courage,
To press off the demons,
To look them in their eyes
And tell them they’re defeated
I want to kiss you,
Staring into your light
Like eternal sunshine,
Of the spotless mind
You help me live,
Without the fear of sin
Like I’m staring down the sun
Till my eyes, No longer match the sky
I want to kiss you,
Even if it meant I’d lose sight,
For to see your beauty
I do not need my eyes,
No my mind can draw you,
Awe inspiring, in perfect hue,
Yes I do, know that you
Want me to kiss you,
Not at the temple walls,
Nor on its steps or at it’s door,
But within on the altar,
Where we can come to love
So open up, I want to kiss you,
Again like dew says to the morning sun,
Warm me with your rays,
Gently with your touch,
This is magic, this is essence,
This is the spiritual quintessence
Highest of the high,
Melded with the sky,
With time and space,
Waves that make our bodies shake,
I want to kiss you,
Under all the stars,
Before we find the calm,
Looking up and we are gone,
To the farthest reaches,
still in touch, our lips,
They want to proclaim
The greatest bliss,
Yours and mine one ship

You’ve got to step down baby. Do you know what is over that line? Do you know what’s it is like to forget the passing of time? I am not in a position to say anything about what you can handle. I’m just giving fair notice. I’m sure of myself. I can’t be sure of you. I keep myself balanced, I know me; How far I go one way is what I must travel, and if I’ve ever delivered you anything less than that then you need to check your compass – I know what I have weathered. I’d say it’s the altered mind states speaking again, but I haven’t had the good stuff in quite a while. I haven’t enticed venom from the viper’s fangs for what seems to be a mess of days blurred together long enough to place outside short term memory. I’ve been feeling again – We almost never intend the worst case, but I meant it. Now hold your curiosity; You don’t want to imbibe this yet.

I could hold you,
but that would be untrue,
I won’t show you,
What things keep me up
What’s your tune,
I want you to stay fooled
As long as noon,
by then we’re out of bed.
A long line dreaded,
I hear you’ve felt heaven,
In which direction,
Do you see me headed
I took a breath,
And awoke intoxicated,
I’m certain now,
I’ll keep drinking forever

When the well becomes poisoned,
do you keep drinking from the fountain?

I Didn’t Kiss Her When I Left

I realized only after I started how difficult of an image you are to capture. The light, the softness of your face – These two together, my heavens; They’d beg me to close my eyes and stand at the gates deciding who was the fairest. I reconcile them in the final strokes; I am the alchemist. I am the watcher over the stars, yes I guide the night. Even in peaceful rest I know your discomfort – I keep you in mind, so that what you might find difficult in nature, I can put to words in hopes of easing your study. Is this all? I have given my thoughts to this. Do you know what it’s like to love you? I bet you’ll tell me.
You’re gonna have to wait.
You’re gonna have to wait.

Don’t move; I’ve got to pen this – It is perfection as near I may see with my flawed sight. It’s only me – I can at last step back, and breathe a sigh of content with what I’ve created from my mind – The body will follow where it leads; mine has traversed every line, and the shades I’ve taken ages on. It is important that it be done in time and with a hunger to be as near to the source as one can be without it being anywhere. If I can create her I can draw you, stop trying to act on gravity, like you’ve got some type of mass on me; It’s not you, deep, deep words aren’t you, but if you were a flame you’d be blue. Slow your pace. You’ll consume everything. I know.

Do you know what it’s like to love you? You never told me what it’s like to love me. You want to know? I sorely do, I surely must have your answer, but you don’t owe me anything. You know I do. I know you do. It’s like waking up at 3AM feeling euphoric – But who gets out of bed at 3AM, Who’s ready to face the day so early – Yet you can’t fall back asleep; So it’s just waiting. Then loving me is like waiting? No. It’s everything else. Everything else is like being in a long line that you’ve lost interest in being a part of, lacking clarity as to why you stood in the line to begin with, No, you’re not waiting. You’re the ride. You’re not waiting at all.

I watched the ink drip from these lit hands,
as I smeared it across your blank face,
and still your body wouldn’t take,
my transfusion of words.
I watched you spill out,
Nothing I knew could stop the drain.
Long hair, black as tar, but twice as hot
The gods know I’m so dirty covered in her.

You’re not waiting. At all. I asked you to be patient. You told me you could be patient. Look at the time you’ve spent. And it’s something that penetrates my entire being, but I can’t remember it, I can not recall to memory what it is. It is there underlying everything. At one moment I can almost taste it; Another it’s a smell, a touch – I hear it, can’t see it. I can not

You’re good at silence and flitting your eyelashes,
If I could be a diamond, you’d find me drunk at the bottom of a champagne flute,
Let me play it for you, musical notes I’ll caress from you,
Got Vivaldi wishing his violin screamed as sensuous,
Composing this sextet, mind body and souls,
Clear off the counter, sex for dinner, I mean you

I’ve been meaning to do you in the stacks,
Start with flipping you around to read the back, Synopsis
I can see me all over you, digging that smile on your face,
Also down deep – In your; mind.
Thumb your spine as I finger through your pages
Your plot so thick, after I open you up, hard to get enough
And I’m not lazy, I’ll read you cover to cover, without the covers
Stimulating brain function, you got that bomb brain power
This is a nervous center takeover. Synapses screaming take cover!

Quite honestly, no, It’s always honestly. She’s the type of woman where, she’d stay until you told her she couldn’t give you, you couldn’t give her what she wanted. not because you didn’t want to, but because you were doing the best for her, for you, for you too. You just weren’t there, you weren’t in the place that she needed you to be. You know, she was the type of woman that, once she found what she needed, what she wanted… I mean you can’t worry about the best for other people, but once she found what she wanted… that was it for you – You were no more to her. It was gone. And… you smile because you wanna hope that there’s no harsh feelings, there’s no animosity, just… you got what you wanted… If it wasn’t for me, you release quietly, under your breath or in the back of your mind – You wish the best for me, you wish me luck, cause I know I was always rooting for you, but we’re never guaranteed anything. You didn’t have to root for me, I don’t think anyone really did.

I always had time to kill & now time is killing me. 

To Stay Updated

I wanted to post something in order to keep you die hards out there breathing. I’ve had no internet, and no time outside of all the OT to finish the current pieces I am cooking up. It’s been a wild few weeks. I’ve actually gained about 700 readers over this month. I never thought I’d garner such an interest from so many people.

That being said I certainly want to keep feeding the fire so to speak, but I’m not always able to post as I’d like because everything must be to a certain degree – It takes a lot to make sure I put the right words with each other – Perhaps in the interim anyone with questions for me – About anything – could ask them in the comments. I’ve rather enjoyed engaging with those who have chosen to fire at me, and would like to extend the opportunity for everyone to do so.

If you have any thoughts that have been prodding you since reading something I’ve posted… Go ahead and ask! If you want to know how I do what I do… Ask! If you want to tell me something dark and insidious, I’m not going to stop you – We could find the beauty in it together. You know how I like darkness! And If you don’t yet… you will!

You know I’ve always been open; I broke once, and couldn’t help but to stay open mouthed to this universe