I Didn’t Kiss Her When I Left


I realized only after I started how difficult of an image you are to capture. The light, the softness of your face – These two together, my heavens; They’d beg me to close my eyes and stand at the gates deciding who was the fairest. I reconcile them in the final strokes; I am the alchemist. I am the watcher over the stars, yes I guide the night. Even in peaceful rest I know your discomfort – I keep you in mind, so that what you might find difficult in nature, I can put to words in hopes of easing your study. Is this all? I have given my thoughts to this. Do you know what it’s like to love you? I bet you’ll tell me.
You’re gonna have to wait.
You’re gonna have to wait.

Don’t move; I’ve got to pen this – It is perfection as near I may see with my flawed sight. It’s only me – I can at last step back, and breathe a sigh of content with what I’ve created from my mind – The body will follow where it leads; mine has traversed every line, and the shades I’ve taken ages on. It is important that it be done in time and with a hunger to be as near to the source as one can be without it being anywhere. If I can create her I can draw you, stop trying to act on gravity, like you’ve got some type of mass on me; It’s not you, deep, deep words aren’t you, but if you were a flame you’d be blue. Slow your pace. You’ll consume everything. I know.

Do you know what it’s like to love you? You never told me what it’s like to love me. You want to know? I sorely do, I surely must have your answer, but you don’t owe me anything. You know I do. I know you do. It’s like waking up at 3AM feeling euphoric – But who gets out of bed at 3AM, Who’s ready to face the day so early – Yet you can’t fall back asleep; So it’s just waiting. Then loving me is like waiting? No. It’s everything else. Everything else is like being in a long line that you’ve lost interest in being a part of, lacking clarity as to why you stood in the line to begin with, No, you’re not waiting. You’re the ride. You’re not waiting at all.

I watched the ink drip from these lit hands,
as I smeared it across your blank face,
and still your body wouldn’t take,
my transfusion of words.
I watched you spill out,
Nothing I knew could stop the drain.
Long hair, black as tar, but twice as hot
The gods know I’m so dirty covered in her.

You’re not waiting. At all. I asked you to be patient. You told me you could be patient. Look at the time you’ve spent. And it’s something that penetrates my entire being, but I can’t remember it, I can not recall to memory what it is. It is there underlying everything. At one moment I can almost taste it; Another it’s a smell, a touch – I hear it, can’t see it. I can not

You’re good at silence and flitting your eyelashes,
If I could be a diamond, you’d find me drunk at the bottom of a champagne flute,
Let me play it for you, musical notes I’ll caress from you,
Got Vivaldi wishing his violin screamed as sensuous,
Composing this sextet, mind body and souls,
Clear off the counter, sex for dinner, I mean you

I’ve been meaning to do you in the stacks,
Start with flipping you around to read the back, Synopsis
I can see me all over you, digging that smile on your face,
Also down deep – In your; mind.
Thumb your spine as I finger through your pages
Your plot so thick, after I open you up, hard to get enough
And I’m not lazy, I’ll read you cover to cover, without the covers
Stimulating brain function, you got that bomb brain power
This is a nervous center takeover. Synapses screaming take cover!

Quite honestly, no, It’s always honestly. She’s the type of woman where, she’d stay until you told her she couldn’t give you, you couldn’t give her what she wanted. not because you didn’t want to, but because you were doing the best for her, for you, for you too. You just weren’t there, you weren’t in the place that she needed you to be. You know, she was the type of woman that, once she found what she needed, what she wanted… I mean you can’t worry about the best for other people, but once she found what she wanted… that was it for you – You were no more to her. It was gone. And… you smile because you wanna hope that there’s no harsh feelings, there’s no animosity, just… you got what you wanted… If it wasn’t for me, you release quietly, under your breath or in the back of your mind – You wish the best for me, you wish me luck, cause I know I was always rooting for you, but we’re never guaranteed anything. You didn’t have to root for me, I don’t think anyone really did.

I always had time to kill & now time is killing me. 

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26 thoughts on “I Didn’t Kiss Her When I Left

  1. Oh, wow … this is so beautiful … How the hell did you do that? If anyone can a poetry how they love me, that is truly very lovely. But this is almost so haunting in some ways that you know you thirst for more and I am left and abandon in a space where time kill … and now this is killing me too …. Oh, thank you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sirenaross says:

    Mixing sex, music and reading. !!

    Like

  3. Heartafire says:

    stunning writing!

    Like

  4. ajoy_art says:

    Your posts have so much energy in them that I can feel and this post is intense.. Thank you. I love how you combined the most passionate of elements we can experience in this world and made it magical.. 🙂
    I hope I get time to write a new post soon..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ASH says:

    I read this over and over, the grappling with after-images… As I stand in that line.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alethea Eason says:

    Brilliant and luminescent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate your words 🙂 I take this as a great compliment and hope to deliver more great works to match

      Like

      • Alethea Eason says:

        Well, I’m looking forward to reading more. I teach so often I’m pretty wiped out in the evening, but I’ve decided to limit myself to Facebook one day a week and to get here more. Looking forward to getting to know you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Teaching is a great experience to in turn learn from what and who we teach 🙂 . I do feel there is many wonderful things on WordPress worth checking out. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your time

        Like

  7. One finds pleasure inside the waiting. Love is a tremendous feeling and when acknowledged, others line up to agree. You’re so spirited. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. shambhavi31 says:

    Enticing, intriguing poetry! Reading it was like an intense adventure. This line
    ‘ if you were flame, you would be blue’ is beautiful. 😀
    Creativity at its best!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for connecting. Just getting my blog started and feel a little scattered as learn my way around WP. Really liking your writing. I will be back to read more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very much welcome. I know that feeling well! Remember when I first started out and feeling a bit overwhelmed and unsure of what I was trying to do. Then I realized in the end I do it for me… Thanks for stopping by and sharing your mind, I appreciate it,
      -IV

      Liked by 1 person

  10. itsvishakha says:

    You are one intense writer. The way you ink your thoughts can get the strings of readers too intense. I mean, I’m sure it’s deep and beautiful and indeed acutely passionate.

    Liked by 1 person

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