“Dear friend, theory is all grey, And the golden tree of life is green.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust Pt.1
I have come to realize that until we do,
There is no color in me or you –
And before the dawn
Gold is just a dream’s sand,
speckled all across the beaches
In small amounts that can barely be seen
The real beauty is in growth’s green leaves,
Touched by the light;
What is created allows everything to breathe
I have to write this down or it never happened, It has to have occurred, because if it did not then I never did
What are you doing? You can do this.
What do I think? I’m sleeping on a couch,
When I should be in a bed. The bed down the hall;
Sharing space with the person I never had to compete with.
Me and you were never a battle – You took me in;
Uncovered me and all the things hidden
beneath my unnaturally calm surface.
I know battles, with expertise in bloody confrontations. I know the look on the checkout girl’s face when she sees a little bit of him in the way I say, “You’re smile is contagious.” Or the glossy eyed stare of the estranged divorcee when my deep gaze into her says she matters triggers the memory of how he used to actually care; I watch her go down the long road to lost where she wound up wondering how much she still does. I get these things. I might not always be able to voice them, but a look into my eyes says it, it’s says everything, but no one is reading, no one is drinking.
This is not home. No matter how much I’d like it to be. My only home is me. I’ll have beds that are comfortable, people I’ll love to lay with, but home will never be any of those. It will only ever be me. And it’s hard saying that seeing the way we’re all so perfect in this moment. Everyone has a good laugh now and again, but I’m always having a good one – I don’t want to laugh about this. If only we all could be comfortable in our own skin for long enough – No it’s not enough to fit in the skin, the labyrinth is where it all begins. I could tell you from the beginning I knew we’d have a hard time settling in.
I know this has been so long, it’s like the only thing in recent history that we’ve known; I’ve watched you die before and decompose upon history’s bones. This will cut so deep, you will wonder where it’s going.
I’d rather meet you in a place of your choosing, or accidentally in a field of wild flowers, matching the gradients of our souls.
Taste of these buds,
Blossoming in this warm winter,
Are you taking it slow?
Are you taking it slow?
How much do you want to know?
I’ve held wealths of gold – I didn’t know
Silly me – Just because it didn’t glow
Is this impressive? I’m not out to do that, I just live this way and it can’t be helped. I will either go up in a blaze that blitzes towards its own flame-out or dive into a hole so dark that light as far as we understand it will not escape that void.
You see me in this moment? I am me and that is what I find so freeing. That even in your light, with all your glorious rays, I am present honestly; My mind refuses to close its eye. I revere you, sacred, I do not keep you. I reveal all that I am palms open to you, yet this is not worship – And the laurels rest upon you to show me yours. Can you read my energy clearly? I’ve traveled a great distance to meet you here. It has taken all of me to be as water
Let me talk about all the things I’ll do to you,
The things only I could show you in this smile;
If a smile can even be procured at this point,
We’ll just have to wait and see what’s coming.
“Speed propels the vitality of life, attitude controls it, momentum maintains it, patience protects it, leadership guides it, and intellect unleashes it.”
– Unknown at this time
To be quick is to be free of doubt, to choose;
Anyone who chooses to lay too long
Will find themselves fading with the same speed.
And what of the view you have held?
Like the control gauge or throttle keeping you on
I’ve seen you slow down to a crawl, to a stop,
and forget to get back up.
Have a cool drink to keep healthy joints, sip it smooth
Our patience here will ensure we know to use our time,
Dare you try to command this,
I’ll tell you to guide your own hide
Call yourself a thinker, you’ll breathe just fine
For what reason are you so vital?