The Last Knights

“Not all things worth doing make men rich,
But all things worth doing make rich men.” – IV

I’ve allowed complacency to sink in. I won’t pretend I did not see it coming. I was not immune to the great sickness that has plagued us. Resistant, Yes. The ugly truth though is that my resistance only served to magnify the eventual depths to which I fell ill. As I walked around infected it began to seep into my well; deeper and deeper. Drinking of the poisonous milk as it slowly grew more potent hid the corrosion from my observations. The rooms grew darker, the lights fainter, and all along I thought I was still glimpsing the sun.

Early on I could feel the dichotomy that existed within me rage and erupt like the surface of our Sun – Much like the tumultuous currents that roared beneath, I knew no peace. It wasn’t that I was intentionally destroying what I had created, no, I needed more observation of the two interacting and giving way in order to captain with the ideal philosophy. If it took me a bit of time to be certain in my heading, then so be the course.

Have you ever put out a fire with nothing but the air in your lungs?
You have to hold a long time, ignoring all the signals, against all those inhibitions.

Many rights and wrongs occurred before I grasped the philosophy of life I felt beating between my flesh and spirit. Too great an ascendancy of either meant a tearing pain, since the two could never really be severed as long as I lived; And since I endured to live while I was present, I scored greatest in balancing the dimensionless with the physical. In the moment, they meet cheek to cheek; yet as often as one is permitted to gallop, so is the other. In short, I have small regard for the absolute rock or for the absolute feather because neither have stretched out a hand to other out fear of what they might become.

If you’re scared to be hard, then you will only bring suffering, if you are scared to be soft, you will only break

And I hope you understand that when we talk about nights it isn’t just the time of day that takes place when the sun isn’t out. It’s a much darker place than the evening you spend reading and writing books with a little smoke in your lungs. It’s the kind of lightless you lose things in, things you tied to your fingers. You’re going to need your fingers to feel around when you get here.

We are the ones we are waiting for

Quotes for quenching – 23

“Sometimes a kind of glory lights up the mind of a man. It happens to nearly everyone. You can feel it growing or preparing like a fuse burning toward dynamite[…]Then a man pours outward, a torrent of him, and yet he is not diminished. And I guess a man’s importance in the world can be measured by the quality and number of his glories. It is a lonely thing but it relates us to the world. It is the mother of all creativeness, and it sets each man separate from all other men.” – John Steinbeck

There were those who asked for my days, some found lost in my face, others demanded my word, but none took my demons besides you. Perhaps this is to say I’ve been sifting through all pouring forth from me like the great Yangtze River delta. It must be that I have within – a vast reserve – as I have yet to be eroded. Will you come to view the canyon it creates?

If at anytime I’ve begun to say too much feel free to use kisses to shut me up, I will appreciate it as you keep me from trailing off.

I don’t worry of such an event. I just keep churning, yesterday which was today, and tomorrow that shall join in, will all run unrestrained into my ocean of experience and become my history. Touch me; Taste me; That is my proof; I have yet to run dry – I’ve run up on shore, but I’ve always found myself afloat not too long after. It was always orchestrated anyways. I don’t do anything without knowing the cost to my character. I’m the fucking captain on this vessel, I’m the king, Yes, I put the crown on – but I don’t look down; Still I’m the king, anything that goes wrong comes out of my pocket. I’m responsible.

Don’t you know? Don’t you know? No one should have to tell you.

The Only Thing I’ll Say You SHOULD Do

This is a break from my usual posts: Continue at will.

No one ever told me to believe in myself. What other people thought was always more important. Whenever I asked why I had to do this or that, the only answer I got was, “Because you have to” or “If you don’t people might think this of you.” Do you know what kind of message that sends a child? If you’ve ever said it, you probably haven’t considered it very much. I don’t blame anyone for it because I know when you’re confronted it is such a difficult thing to answer.

No one really has time to explain to a kid ‘out of line’ why he should get back into it & no one intends to hand down any set of problems to an innocent child because it’s easier. Consider this though – When you constantly reinforce that a child has to do something because someone else said so, without any decent reason, what is it we are saying? What is it we are telling the child who is told time and again to consider what other people might think about them? To consider how others might look at them? Do you see what this does?

When you tell a child that they have to constantly worry about how others might think of them you are undermining their self confidence. It tells them that what other people think of you is more important. As the person or persons they look up to the most, you are knocking them down and instilling within them a sense of self inferiority. You are telling them that what they think is not good enough. What they think does not matter. This is frighteningly horrible – Due to this all too common response some of our greatest thinkers and their most beautiful thoughts will forever be trapped in the silence of self doubt.

Hopeless to overcome the prison we unintentionally installed around their minds, they will cry silently until their passion is extinguished; becoming only a shadow of the true brilliance they should have. What’s it like for the kid who has a wildly powerful urge to question and create, but is constantly told to recognize authority, and to get in line? It’s a cold hell darkened by the will to speak and the inability to do so thanks to the fear of inferiority. It is a horrid sentence deserved by none. Yes, it is possible to break free of such incarceration, but not without an indomitable will, a little luck, and vision to realize they hold the key – Which is hard to be sure of when shackled in self doubt.

I know not every kid asks these questions unabashed. The ones who do though, need a real answer. The defiant rebels standing proud, and revolutionaries thinking outside the box – They deserve respect.

The only thing I’ll say you should do is lift others up. Speak and listen in a way which communicates to others that what they have to say does matter!

As for the the little rebels and revolutionaries; Reinforce that their intuitions, and beautiful energy matters; It makes the difference – Even if it means they have to practice greater patience in tolerating and working with the system they were born into; That just because the education system and socially constructed environment is inadequate to provide them with the proper resources and know how to actualize themselves; You will teach them the value of their existence and their thoughts – You should believe in yourself

—————————————————————————————————————————-

​I always enjoyed creating as a kid, but never knew it was within my reach to do anything with it because I was never encouraged – After quite some time I worked to overcome this lack of self confidence and have reignited my love of getting deep into my senses and letting spill out the creative river I kept damned up far too long. With that being said I’d like to ask those of you who made it this far to take a look at this page I set up at Patreon.

Thanks,
-IV

Quotes for Quenching – Down the Line

A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction. – Oscar Wilde

What do you feel has changed about me from the start?

It is the nature of exploring what is and can be – We go where our loves take us, and end up knowing the full ramifications in retrospect; bound to go that deep as you say, is in every way a mystery. I will do things that I’ve never done, all in search of what I am becoming.

And what is that hanging off of your gaze there?
You seem to have yourself blue with bated breath,
For what flower are you waiting to bloom?
Is it the Day Lily? Such patience and restraint it takes,
To wait seasons to hold it from its first morning to its last evening.

Do you remember your own smile?
No, I know you can’t take it in like another can.
You see it in the pictures they take, and in others when they glow,
but you don’t know it like us
It is that smile that convinced me I shouldn’t stop.
Let me describe it now, I will find the right words.
Well the light, the shine: Rich as Croesus
I will stop

I… I seem to be barren right now.
I can’t actually recall your smile – I guess I bore false witness

I’m fearful I can’t bury what I’ve done, that a mind really can be cracked and poured into the world of dreams, from where it can never be entirely recollected like an egg emptied into a body of water. The question prodding is why would you ever empty an egg into a body of water? I guess just to see what might happen, only the mind is of more consequence than the egg.

I wanted to take you with me, I wanted to stay and lay again into sleep and wake up to you hitting me because I snore too loudly at times; I wanted to laugh and have it all again from morning until night; A never ending life just for a time – but a good cry was enough, and then I knew I had to get on.

The primifluous strokes aren’t always the greatest,
but after such a hiatus they always feel the best.
On second hand, the opening wine should always be the best,
Later on they forget about the rest.

I guess some of us just require more risk to feel comfortable.

The Ones Without Wings

Don’t forget the little things that you deem lowly

They’re so good at what they do. I just want to sit and hang out with the worms while they eat their breakfast with us.
You ought to give thanks to those who do so much for you – It might not seem all that much, but it is everything.

Lay and dream in moments of plenty,
Plenty of work to do, and beds to make
Here in the sunshine it’s still dark below;
With or without light there are gifts to sow

So long, enough I have enjoyed comfort
Now to get to the heart of this summer
Pierced by being just the right time to tick by
You all know as well as I the morning’s sigh

Yes, me and the evening go way back –
We’ve been known to take a few shots,
I wouldn’t call us guns blazing, but we’re hot
Back to back we greeted the crack of dawn
Took a shallow breath and said our goodbyes
Put our guns down and let Sun rise

Yet somehow we both made it out on the other side
And every now and again we joke about it;
Doesn’t much like the name I came up with,
but High noon works just fine, and we both laugh.

Call us lazy, but we are doing so much to make sure that the cogs in your machine have something worth turning for.

I Was Going Through The Levels

I know what you want. I know what you’re looking for – Why don’t you just come ask for it – It’s not like it’s lost, it doesn’t need to be found. You don’t even need a map to get to it. All those things you’ve scrawled out in the mornings like you were invigorated, like new life came beckoning you out into the wild to seek a glimpse of your tattered soul; It’s a chase after the thrills of the primitive hunt; An excuse so that deep down you can cover up the sanctimonious lie you pour over yourself when you need a drink – But hey, it’s nine in the afternoon somewhere right?

I was going real high there,
I felt like I could really fly you here.
Like I had all those things they sing about;
I’ve got a lot they go without, they don’t know about
Their money isn’t one of them, but I do just fine.
Aim not to let it prey on me,
I’d rather let art be the death of me
I bet I taste better than all that gold
Flavor profile hits all your zones
Frontal view? I’ll slide in the back
Pack it tight so the flight is right
Maybe where I’m taking this is past, ridiculous;
I thought I had the mind for this trick
Like most people I invested, but still couldn’t figure it
Yet nobody has a clue, I’m out the zoo,
I wonder if you know the road, I wonder if you’ll come thru
I wonder if you’ll find your home
I wonder what you wonder too

I cut through to the place you might call deep, but we’re all surface level. I can’t get where your dark corners are with this candle I’m holding, and I wouldn’t even try from where I am. Do you have something to say? No, I guess you didn’t this time around. I couldn’t tell by the way you gazed from the tip of your nose. I wonder if you still know my scent, wonder if I was nearby could you search me out? You should have been there for all the dates I’ve gone on, we all laughed and had a good time, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing has been yet, and I know it’s awful, because everyone wants so much.

I feel like all my words want to leave me
Like it wasn’t fair that I spoke em’ all,
but now they’re here and it’s all you are

I’m patient now, but I wasn’t when I had the time – I know I can keep you up all night

Wisdom of Woja – 06

“You know when the ride goes around and it starts to come to a stop, you think, I wish it were still going… Well life is.”

Isn’t it peculiar how after so many rides we begin to find ourselves slightly bored with the initial going up on a coaster?
No one can deny that the anticipation it builds doesn’t lend to the exhilaration of taking that first plummet; leading into a soaring rise – It’s entertainment. We took a few goes, and start to wear thin on the purpose of anticipation. No one wants to wait anymore, hell no one wants the ride to end.

Realize that the wait is crucial to the ride. I’ve seen people go round and round thinking they’ve got everything they could hope for – You can see it occurring – They start to grow tired. They forget what was so exciting and breathtaking about the whole happening to begin with. Removing themselves from the circle, from the immersion of the wait, has sullied their experience. It has taken from them their potential to fully enjoy, and captivate what it was that gasped within them.

I was going real high there,
I was going real high there,
I felt like I could
I felt like I would