There Was Something I Wanted To Do


There are a lot of things I want to say, things I know [you] aren’t ready for. I’ve spoken in haste before – It was not pretty.

And look at you all with your fingers. Must you point any more to something other than your own. A cacophony of macaws losing their heads like the music has stopped and I’m the last one standing. I will keep mine on right, and note your terrible acting. I have to trust what I do; You can have your doubts, but I don’t need to go any further on that. Do not proceed to speak on what I meant by that to others either. I don’t deal in lies, nor the contempt they breed.

You know how I go for danger, the risk of something going to hell and the potential to be enough; It gets my blood fucking hotter than, well let’s just say hotter than a seat at the bar down with the devil. And you know how hot that seat is baby. Yes let’s not pretend. I should pause here. Yes. I will stop here. I really need to temper this patience. Maybe I’ll stop forever. Triumph, won’t you just get out of here while you still have your dignity? Disaster why do you always play the fool? You two, impostors, I will outwit the both of you!

Yes and here it is. I’ve got a few more things to pile on. Let me just put this right up here to finish the stacking; Perfect.
Now I’ll just take this heat and burn everything I know down to ash, It feels better to have nothing. It really does. When nothing becomes something, heck that feels smooth. Going back down if you can’t help it – Now that’s a bad trip. I’ll start over with not a rag in my stomach. After this you won’t hear another bit about it.

Me and death get along well, although he’s still trying to have that night cap with me; I just tell him some other time.
I know he won’t admit it, but he admires me – for all the times he’s held me close – I brought myself to his door, but unlike Faust I act before the final stroke! I tell him no matter how frail I seem in those moments, I will always have a strength greater than his grasp. I tell him even after I pass, he will not be able to remove the pen from my hand. You know I’d hold that sword so tight that even if my arm was severed my will would force my nerve and sinew to hold on! He chuckles always telling me I’m such a joker. I elbow him in the ribs – literally – and let him enjoy his ecstasy.

They’ve all been trying to kill me, the crowd. Throwing their filth and heckling the man, I am not disturbed. I have been dirty. I have been unrecognizable to myself. Now though I have found me, and I don’t much feel like getting lost in their havoctry.

Pardon me your majesty! Royal highness, you are dressed the finest – I’ll walk with you – but I do like to wear this more common thread which I know your wisdom can respect. A smile is enough to pretend. Let us now part great friends, and anytime you call on me I’ll pass along my earnest answer, for you like my enemies may share my bed.

Here we come to you, this unforgiving minute, what will we do. An hour is far too long, and anything less than eternity is not enough. Let’s settle for 60 seconds. I know, I know, it’s the same, it’s all semantics. For you I’ll give my all! I’ll fill you with my best effort. Now you may call me as you like, but I am my own and what I decide will be my sentence.

You know I’d try Romeo’s vial after Juliet’s ill fate just to see if she might have missed some – Women aren’t always better than men at finding things than they think they are.

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