I hold the sacrificial dirk, a dirge dripping in blood,
it’s clear I keep making choices.
You ever make a mistake while actively knowing it,
and say, “ah fuck it.” ?
Life you showed me,
doing nothing because of sense
But because it struck the senses;
Because it felt good.
You did things this way because you lived out a different chord with different rules and expectations; things that applied to you and only you. To say I understood could only be a man trying with every sinew to convince the other in an argument, with passion that he struggled, and knew what it meant to live from your center.
How presumptuous. How pompous.
I wanted it though, o I wanted to comprehend, I deserved to for all I’d worked towards — to be at one with that mind and give it my nod of approval. But fuck approval. Every entity that seeks it dips into the darkness afraid of its own shadow. And that thing which I wanted, would no longer be desired if it sought to illuminate the dark out of fear for what might be beneath its cover. Go into the dark curious; feel on your hands and knees – claw for discovery, and be beset by hunger no more.
Everything is a sacrifice — What will you wither, what will you grow?