Things Are Different In The Morning

When you wake up, it isn’t what it was the night or day before.
Leave me, leave me, leave me – We’ve been nothing but trouble.
Counter views, and frame colliding perspectives, now empathy.

“I feel a sudden clear focus and perspective. There is no time for anything inessential. I must focus on myself, my work and my friends.” – Oliver Sacks

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Quotes for Quenching – 32

“Empathy matters not just because it makes you good, but because it is good for you. It has the power to heal broken relationships, erode our prejudices, expand our curiosity about strangers and make us rethink our ambitions. Ultimately empathy creates the human bonds that make life worth living.” — Roman Krznaric

But what about that lesson to take it all home with you? Yes you are going somewhere, and really with yourself is the first and last company. You have considered taking home something rather flush, really exquisite. Only is has been left at the door, nothing further considered. You always talk a strong game, and when the night comes to the marker – well you turn head. You leave the key in the lock, but you don’t dial in.

This matter is beyond importance. It is more than a concept to reach others by way of the soul. It is the only way you will share happiness, for this life, with yourself. Do you not find self eager to wake each new second with the kiss of joy? Then no more. We begin now.

Carry your hand here. Turn the wheel, and begin to accept it. How can you treat any part with contempt, when you treat so admirably the whole as perfection? You bond to the word of another, the voice of a sweet song, the embrace of another, a touch of serendipity. You have found something in every word, so now welcome it home. Ease the hand; and the eye with which you view the sacred.

I didn’t really expect to do empathy any justice,
indeed not with so few considered words,
but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer my hands.

The Hottest Night The Jungle Ever Had

“What is it which makes a man and a woman know that they, of all other men and women in the world, belong to each other? Is it no more than chance and meeting? No more than being alive together in the world at the same time? Is it only a curve of the throat, a line of the chin, the way the eyes are set, a way of speaking? Or is it something deeper and stranger, something beyond meeting, something beyond chance and fortune? Are there others, in other times of the world, whom we should have loved, who would have loved us? Is there, perhaps, one soul among all others — among all who have lived, the endless generations, from world’s end to world’s end — who must love us or die? And whom we must love, in turn — whom we must seek all our lives long — headlong and homesick — until the end?
— Robert Nathan (Portrait of Jennie)

What fool will first make a proposal? Is it you? Do you have the pomp? Will you claim your gavel to be judge; or do you think such things should be left to the faculties of twelve? Too many mouths when we need all the senses. I’m talking more than bodies! The dialectic won’t be swallowed by bites. Haven’t we learned this ? Where are the other parts! We need the tetractys – The whole is greater than the sum of its bits and pieces you keep fooling with.

We were talking love though weren’t we? Oh you can talk love all you want, but it isn’t there until you act beyond the things you expect to receive. And how do you know when you will? With any certainty? I’m not sure we can ever answer that. Perhaps it comes down to forgiving all the shards in your hands because it wasn’t after all their intent to slip into your skin. They simply existed; and you merely put pressure – And where the two met, they got to know each other.

I don’t want to get clinical nor do I want to be cynical. The world is rife with beautiful things coming and going. But you’ve got to keep the basics together. You’ve got to work with a body of matter, and then pull in other bits. If you plan to go from one end to the other, you must have something to go on. But here you are! You are sure, already, about what you have to go on! That’s why you’re barely visible from the steps. You couldn’t wait to get out there. To get out there and prove whatever started this fire, exists.

 

 

Quotes for Quenching – 30

“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” — C.S. Lewis

 

I know the type of individual of which Lewis wrote. He turns down every invitation, he leaves only his absence once he is gone. He invests nothing in those around him because they are nothing to his soul. He shuts the world out and holds only himself in his hands. The things he does are entirely for him. People may try to come around, but he quickly shuts them down, because the most important thing is time, of which he has none for anything but his lines; Yes his drugs of choice, and the occasional self serving urge.

He smiles as he looks his prey in the eyes, not because he’s happy, but because what he wants is easy to take! Yes, it’s willingly given, but only because he lies with good taste. What should I drown the world out with tonight, he wonders, perhaps a telling of how great he is. That always feels so good. Or maybe he’ll go find someone to tell him, so he can coldly not reciprocate, once again leaving knowing nothing could be lost.

I know this man because at one point in the story I was him. I never gave a shit about anyone. I did it all for my own gain and pleasure. I wanted the world not so I could share it, but so I could give it out as my gift to those below me, or not at all. I had to have what I wanted, but what was I expecting to pay for it? No, I was owed it!
At one point I could without falter, claim that I knew no love for a single being in existence. I had to lie a lot along the way, fake it till I made it. I’d say I got pretty good at mimicking what I had observed. The words came easy. They were all so easy. And it was all to make myself feel good. I made it about me. It was about me. What selfishness I now detest! The ground could not bare to hold me. So vile was my path; Yet it was one I had to walk to know anything of what I was. As I went along I learned to dance, to feel, to bleed in different ways. I came to know it all through those who touched me. Every point along the road gave me something more to hold. I knew something had changed when I finally gave in to the animals. I no longer found them without purpose, I no longer found them worthless. It was bizarre to see what I had been, after living lies for my entire life. It was confounding to say the least. Especially at the epicenter of the mainshock, and closer to it. Imagine you woke up one morning to discover you’d been acting a role! That none of what you felt had actually been anything but a means to an end; That you had been cold and corrupt all along aiming only to serve yourself with little more than a candle to the wind held for others. Do you at that moment drop the act? Do you stand before the audience with your hands motionless at your sides and stare blankly? Some may, but I didn’t. I was determined to be authentic. I was determined to find true emotions. I went on, and on, practicing daily. Many times did I observe my coldness which sent a chill down my spine. An electrical charge was firing, and it knew of what it was seeking. I knew by this that I was making progress. Of course when you act for so long you can turn like wheels on the bus; You forget the act exists and blend into the scene. I’m not sure if this was color rubbing off on me or if it was all blurring together as I became numb to the motions. I spent a long cold winter alone after the last collision. I never had more time to twist and shake, shiver and cringe. I came out of those nights knowing a lot about what it meant to be cold. When you’re alone there is no act. It’s just you. And when you spend enough time alone without the act, you really settle into who you are. I found summer again and was determined to thaw myself for the final time. I never wanted to be frozen through to the marrow again. Of course as I began to warm, the stage got wet. I didn’t know much about standing in water, the pressure, the warm air hitting my cold frame; I did my best to weather the ensuing storms. As soon as I could shake free of the last few icicles I had to run. I ran away because it was all too much for me at once. It took time to get used to the thaw. It took time to comprehend the flow of the rivers when no ice was clogging their veins. And then I found myself so natural and free. Eager! It was no act. I was simply me; No stage, just rivers, beautiful rivers you can drown in.

I’ll have whatever I please because emptiness takes a lot to feed.

If it’s cold enough, walking on the ice is safer than you’d think

Quotes for Quenching – I Want To Write Into Your Skin With My Touch

“…I can’t ever imagine the world without us. I feel that we two together mean something that’s got to be there just as naturally as trees or birds or clouds.” – Katherine Mansfield, from Something Childish & Other Stories

Surely you do know this, what I will say to you. As natural as the trees stand tall and go deep, they eventually fall to be swallowed in entirety by the ground they penetrated and held to.

As far as the birds fly, and as high as they soar, all return to earth; And they too seek a comforting blanket of it in their end – Which is gently observed

Your clouds! Oh how I love to lay down upon them with you, but one only needs to look at a clear sky to know that it can’t be forever – So we rise with the cast of sun rays, which splash across our face, to feed our hunger for other things.

On the note of sunlight, well it’s breathtaking,  [Breaking]
The way Hyperion has fashioned it to you
And as night arrives, You could take it off,
but I’d rather do it for you; Shed the light
Dark as Nyx would have you!
But goddess will have to wait
because in this moment we drink

And now I’m drunk – It’s a wild run!
Though night, I hold to my instinct,
And motion upon motion is forward
This is a raw route, no holds barred
Nobody quits what they really dig;
And as the time floats, summon sun!

Quotes for Quenching – 29

“When to say what’s on your mind can haunt your soul till the end if you wait too long”

You’ve always got deep things to say, and words to speak, but feeling out the right time to let them loose is not easy.
You can’t plan the right time, you can only become aware that it is now, and that’s usually when the trigger must be pulled.

Come on, get up to it! Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts – You’ve been waiting for this conversation for years it seems; Who knows when or if it will ever come around again.

And don’t just go saying everything that comes into your head. Breathe in and out with a steady flow. You can speak in a calm manner if you’re patient with yourself. Don’t let the train leave without you either. That would be an unfortunate regret.

Quotes for Quenching – 29 – The Act

“Human beings are by nature actors, who cannot become something until first they have pretended to be it. They are therefore not to be divided into the hypocritical and the sincere, but into the sane, who know they are acting, and the mad who do not.” – W. H. Auden.

Remember: Beneath the surface is calm, it is in line; because the act is all there is. Whatever is projected, is put forth, is everything.

It becomes a multifaceted endeavor. Not what you are capable of, but what are you willing to risk, to know, to forget, to lose, to discover. Would you wager your sanity – If that could even be said to be had? We are actors first. Before we were anything we had to conceive of it, and thus think it before we became. And now the question is do you want funny?

Let’s be serious. Oh, that isn’t humor. A few moments of silence start running through your head. Now you want to get loud. You start questioning the method. Self doubt will tear you apart. Do you have anything in you at all? Does that question scare you? Forget fear so I can ask the only thing that matters: Can you stand the act? Because if you can’t – You do not have to stay. You can leave at any time. And I don’t mean stand up and walk out, so know this: You have to be one person when you wake up in the morning. And this is the act.

The hand that shook yesterday does no more.