Quotes for Quenching – 4

“The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”

― Stephen McCranie

It is more than the sun that wakes us,
It is not the sister moon that pulls us,
Through these nights, throughout life.
We rise because we have embraced;
Into the arms of effort we have leaped

At times to have fallen hard;
Onward we choose to keep.
Yes, when we do step away
It is a decision to begin again

Without fear we have burned the midnight oil.
The concern of those who have not started is long since gone.
Once you make this choice, you will only hunger.
Yes, you must open up your palms to this love;
And remember to give back to this day – More than it could pay

You’d be surprise how much light you give off

No Matter What You Do

Do you see that? The light that envelopes everything. It’s kissing us, laying its hands on us in the most gentle of ways, like the shoulder touches before crumbling into a hug that melts us together like the layers in a grilled cheese – It’s encompassing.

Are you going to say it yet? How long will you hesitate? Yes, it’s hesitation babe. I remember your reaction to the first time I used that word. You lit up, like I gave you the ring, and it was something you wanted to say yes to – So are you going to say it yet?

They say only the good die young; We’ll outlive – Well at least I’ll outlive them all. I know what’s on your breath, I know what you have under your bridge; The arch in your back I slip my hand under doesn’t need support, but this damn touch may sap your keystone’s integrity – Is it not erosion that brings us all back to the soil? It’s not my intention to pull the will from you; You earned your strength, you’ve built your own temple, and it’s magnificence has nothing to do with me.

I decided to not dwell on my situation – Living a drifter’s life. I decided to think about you and how you’re doing. You failed to find a bed didn’t you. I wasn’t looking for a bed as much as I was looking for a story to tell myself. None of this third person bullshit taking me for some lesser perspective. I knew exactly what I was after. I knew some ways I could get it. I just didn’t have the spirit to accept it yet. It’s in there. I don’t know the words, but the feeling that will birth them is in there. That’s right, I’ve done it; Before this and before I die encompasses my entire life. This I’ve told you, that I’ve never babbled, but this comes close. Are you willing to dip yourself into those dark depths, to lay your self upon those razor fangs and accept it?  – The danger of permanent annihilation. You’ll always exist by nature of what things are, but I’m discussing the awful state of being stuck in a loop with no feedbacks. The infinite loss.

You don’t live in the reality of this world! You are barely an extra on reality’s stage! You live your cushioned life, surrounded by everything most people can’t even dream of because they’ve never been privy to such blessings. I’m not talking about the money; You have no money. I’m not talking about the health; but you have your health. I’m talking about acceptance. You are accepted so you don’t know the absence that many do; The Lucky ones know they are ostracized.

Luckily I can accept you; I can accept my position, our circumstance – but I can not accept that you hide from it all; Your actions try me to my mast in the most awful of storms where risking my safety is inextricably linked to the survival of the vessel – If I don’t stay fast, I will be the first and last to see this ship hit the bottom. This goes without saying you would never tie yourself; You would have me to do it for you, and then you’d tell me to stay – Maybe if I was lucky you’d ask me to go afterwards.

To hurt, and have no idea why, now that’s darkness – I was born in it.

Sometimes I Go Driving Just Looking For A Light To Run

Is it fair of you to tell me that you’ll never leave? Is it not until the point that you do; that we realize our fault in using such ignorance to peddle our love. You fucking love me now – You have this now, and I’ve been waiting. This isn’t about timing or making too big of mistakes, it’s about here and now; We are in a tizzy

Sometimes I need to close my eyes until you go away.

She was screaming. I knew this was going to be the way it all turned; I would kill us one day, she said. I would be the death of us. I knew she was in the right – To say that stirred me up, got all my flavors heated. I remember muttering under my breath that night. Drunk, slipping consciousness, drifting in and out – I told her that I might be the one. She wouldn’t hear me that night. I had a chance to tell her later on in a deciding scene for my character; She was so beautiful when she prodded me for what had barely sprouted from my lips. I couldn’t tell her, however that’s not what is important here. I was not of significant dignity to admit it to my own self, yet.

Here I am,
in your arms,
is where I want to be,
hold me close,
give me warmth,
little lady.

I don’t always get around to you. I don’t always show what I should. A lot of the times I hold it all in like a man hunting his survival; Sustenance in mother nature, finger on the trigger, eye barreling down the gun, sights on salvation – as he begins to breathe out ready to claim his days – Revealed is your softness; Fucking hell, there it is in all its’ magnificence – The dawn of a new age, life in the positive direction, like a new born fawn to bless the grounds of our planet. I put my means down, and accept that I have what I need. Perhaps it is okay for me to starve a few desires – Yes, I think it might suffer me some good… So I laid there; Crashed like the wreck of the Hesperus on the reef of Norman’s Woe. It was quiet, the way you would have liked it at one point in time. It was quiet, and all I could think to say was let’s raise children that won’t have to recover from their childhoods. That was a silly dream wasn’t it? But the power it held still keeps me company.

 

Am I rushing this?
I know I always took it slow,
I’m not capable of policing my own speed like this
Could you please tell me what the posted limit was?

Let’s get this straight; I don’t need any part of you. I’ve got your taste burned into my senses, and can recall it if I ever care to – I won’t look for you anymore. I am the only one in the room, I don’t see you in my peripherals, I don’t ask permission before I take you like Persephone down into the river – I got defensive again. I was a harsh freeze, too cold for you to feel me; Our hands lost their dexterity. I remember one time I was furious, angered, hurting… You guided me down, like the air that slows gravity on a feather, you summoned shields to shelter, you showered me with the deepest soothe for my soul . And just like that it all became smooth. I looked out over the apartment, which was more like a thousand mile gaze into the  expanse that was the universe standing guard at the gate of your soul; Me with nothing in my cup, at the edge of it all and an infinite distance, prepared to make that crossing regardless of the eternities it would take.

Do you see her in any of this? Why do you always ask me that, you know I don’t.
I know you enough to know that despite how hard you’ve tried to hide it; to hide from it is impossible.

I Know I’ve Been A Little Distant – I Put A Field Between Us

If you look up just for a minute you’ll melt the reach away.

I should warn you that it is quite a step more than that. You know how I get when I want things to challenge the conventions a bit. I thought about planting a few rose bushes next to the pumpkins and squash, but they drink so much. You don’t drink enough. Your roots are deep, I know you’ve been looking for this water. Come on I’ve filled up these buckets; This fresh water for your blooming – It’s all for you. Just cross this field. You just have to uproot yourself – Don’t be stuck; The Honey bees are waiting on your blossoms.

I wanted to get you flowers, but they take time to grow.
What I want shouldn’t be a weight around your neck,
I will wait for you to sprout again after the long winter,
I know the roots you’ve built will grow strong and robust.
Continue to bathe in this rain and you will open wide up
Soak in this sunshine and you will again shine bright
I’ll keep the noise down, I won’t rustle around too much

I know the field is dry, but we don’t need to be completely satiated from the start – It’s always much more enticing to be seeking something, to be fine, but able to hold a drink; This world is worth sharing a drink, right? It’s exact, how much I’ve mulled this over, I’ve muddled the berries just enough to get that sweet taste your tongue craves. This is not something they teach you. It is individual to your colors. You’re doing something here that no one else will be able to paint; Heavens, they’ll be jealous of everything if they try to come close to this. You know how that fairy kept you up all night – You just wanted a drink, a clean cut of cool to slide down your throat, and perhaps a drop you didn’t need – To splash from the crevice of your lips upon your décolletage

Shake your limbs;
Loosen the dirt around your roots,
come now you have it in you.
You will birth this forest grove
You will create this planet’s breath.
You will be the one who holds it all together,
You will be your own canopy shelter,
You are the life creator and shaper!
I’ve fallen to my knees on this:
Faith is not my haven,
Yet I can do no more than believe in you.

I should meet you because I’ve got this desire, but I can’t;
You know I can’t; I know I don’t get to make this call.

If We Were Kids

I don’t think you’re ready for this. I don’t want to scare you, but everything I’ve ever done has been trial by fire. I know now the flames must be pretty hot, but you know I’m near the end of feeling the heat. Did you feel that chill? No? I must have been thinking of trekking through that blizzard. I’d pay the price of a plane ticket to that storm… to brave it again.

In the beginning we had this childlike curiosity, Oh it was infectious. Who lost it first? Heavens I held on, I never ceased to be amazed by you. I just felt shunned. I felt shut out; Like I couldn’t have from you what I hoped I’d tasted in every kiss…that initial fever never faded; The hint was on your tongue – I’m still in belief that I could unlock the mystery if I could steal a kiss every day until the end.

Look how I use my words, yet I never used them for you. And my actions were blind. I can fucking speak too! I never spoke beyond the obvious to make you certain of the detail, every fine grain of the world I felt. I have to keep going though, I can’t pause. I can’t reread because I’ll read you forever. I’ll read a line over and over because I can see so much there. Even I’m still mastering my ability to speak everything that is expressed quietly, and you know how I can go down.

I seen her dressed up a few times. Nothing made me feel more proud than the smile she wore when she was her all dressed up. Not for how great she looked, but for how fucking free and great she felt. I always tried to make her feel that way. I succeeded here and there, but I guess I missed a few exits. I missed a few lines. I missed a few nights. Most nights I missed. That’s just where I was able to show up at that time. I never knew I wasn’t there. Of course I was right there, but I wasn’t always there like I had hoped to be. I was lost in another direction, the ship was just off shore – You always try to jump, you always try to reach that damned ship, maybe even have plans to help raise the sails once you’ve found your feet on deck; but no one can walk the water – There isn’t enough salt in it to float me – I guess I’m heavy.

I still think on it as if I could have taken a different turn, if I had noticed the faults a little earlier – It just gets lost in the waves even if you think you’re keeping your eyes on it; Have you ever swallowed several mouthfuls of a wave that smacked you in the face a few times? A wave usually hits you once, but I got hit a bunch by the same ones. Is that like lightning striking twice or just shitty positioning? I suppose everything is how we prepare, and apply ourselves. It can’t be said that I didn’t try – was it my best? Maybe it was the best of me then, but I could do better now – If we were kids; I’d always let go of your hand a little reluctantly – Kids know, they know how swift a hand to hold can be lost. If we were kids, I’d hold you till my dreams dragged me off half asleep with whispers of you in the other direction. I’d wake up fast though; Excitedly remembering you sleep beside me. I mean when you did, if we were kids, but we’re not.

It’s no longer a surprise to me how I wake up – I rarely sleep through a night, I’m not restless or troubled. It may seem like I am. I’m just explaining to you in the best way I know how. You’re listening to me right? I know this is unlike anything before it. The message is the same. I wake up alive. I wake up calm, and ready to imbibe. I stopped drinking for a while. It just has a way of teaching me so much. I’m not drinking now – I wake up thirsty though, for water – Maybe a few pecks would suffice, I could never drink enough – Water will have to do for now.

I missed it. I wake up calm. So calm. Not concerned that it’s 2AM or 3AM or any time before 6AM. The number of hours doesn’t worry me. How many have I eaten to this point? I’ve got things to do that people like me aren’t made for… I am slowly convincing myself I’m capable of anything – That other spirit, we know he is capable of anything, but I’m still working into reality. I guess I’m in reality, but could I really come out the other end of that tunnel without destroying myself? Am I really that good? –  I know me You know me

Who the fuck are you?
Are you a sage?
Are you trying to look brave?
Don’t be afraid of me

Yes, Baby. If I Can Create Her, I Can Draw You

I’m going to be upfront. Everything that follows may not be to your taste, but if you hold and give it a chance, it will open your eyes. If you digest it, it will nourish your mind. Prepared incorrectly it could certainly do you harm, but you must trust that I’ve taken all precaution to serve you the highest quality of mental intrigue.

You don’t forget a body – The things you notice when you take it slow, when you aren’t looking to get anywhere because where you are is the place you’ve decided to stay a moment; Embrace that moment like it was a first hug. The first real hug, where you realize you can hold on just a bit longer because it’s where you are. It feels like when you lay down satisfied at night sinking into your sheets; A feeling you can’t describe in many other ways. Certainly one word wouldn’t suffice. Not at this point in time, not from this perspective.

Death finds it hard to argue after seeing it in the eyes of so many. It’s a sick world I’m in. I’m the only one here, the only one. So haunted, did you see that? I swear I’m playing rounds on my own self. Filling up the cup I’ve already emptied. No, no it’s empty still. Look into those eyes. They could walk me up to the door, and I’d still have to put them down. I was talking to myself again. What the fuck do you want? Why do you still follow me around?

She stared at me, and I put the petal to the floor; Staring at that light as it turned yellow – I looked it up and down, It stayed yellow for four seconds. I didn’t stop or slow down, I floored it, and as soon as I ran through, it screamed red. No, you don’t forget a body – The things you notice when you’re devouring the world around you. You know when she likes the speed – When she tells you – It lights a devilish fire in your eyes, which you cover her with. She doesn’t admit why, but she likes the danger. She doesn’t admit much, but you know she’s burning.

I mean what, what are you afraid of? I just needed a little buzz, you know a little high, afraid of heights? You come down, you might hit the ground? You bounce right up baby, come on, this isn’t you – This isn’t you.

In light of this, in darkness, I’ve adjusted to see clearly. I don’t think it’s my eyes that do anything. It’s most definitely my perspective. I see you, faint outline, with subtle landmarks like a streetlight on the side of this road I’m on. Finally I can get a better grasp of where I am, at least you’d think. You’re like the streetlight, except I can’t stay – You can’t come with me. You only give me what light you can, but for the rest of the way It’s up to me to see. I don’t forget that light; How it eased the night, but it’s just a way of seeing you. You’re not really here because by nature of travel I’ve placed myself far from that moment. I have a grasp of this night, I will try to paint it for you.

*I’ve got your story entwined in mine, and I don’t have the time to tell just one

I Haven’t Been Me So Much Lately – So I Set It Free

I’m a wild love,
I’ve got things in my closet you want to see em?
If the Earth could speak do you think she’d be a freak?
I think you’ve got her song on
Do you like hands on your throat?
Could anything be more ambitious?
What’s more of something you’ve never tasted before? A sure thing.
When I pull up roaring for the night I won’t wait
I wonder what notes you like to hit the most.
Talking like you really want to bite it: The apple and the snake.
Turned up with some demons,
You trust yourself; I trust me
In the end what’s worth doing?
I’ve never been richer, so let’s give it all away
When it comes to this…
When it comes to grinding hips

I know what you need,
Dressing down while I chase you around,
I think you know what I mean
Going to strip you down
Deliver you to this high
Flip you over I know what’s on your mind
Change position, Baby I’m addicted to friction
Lady let me ask if you don’t mind my asking…
Where’d you get that ass from? Amazing.
I’m feeling on you Déjà vu,
Had to hit it again so I could savor the taste of you.

I’m thirsty for you baby, believe it when I say I can handle me
I’ll fill the bathtub up with gin and drink my way down to your thighs,
Dirty Martini, Sink me under, I’ll come up touching from your lips to your tongue
Baby watching you do you from below is so fun

Hide Your Feelings or Get Caught In The Fangs – The Brave

I don’t wonder about the shadows played on her cheeks,
I don’t wonder about the places we’ll meet.
I know out here in the wild, she is a killer just like me.

Designed to slice and tear; if you don’t show strength beware.
I know she could be the end of me out in this wilderness here.

I know my skin is tough, but I can’t help but imagine her deadly walk;
I let her get just close enough, to feel the dangerous rush.
I wonder how long I’ll be bleeding once I’m punctured.

All that red, all that red I always wanted to become; There is no dread.
In my eyes she is so angelic, yet I can see her darkness, Oh how I’d devour it,
I know she’d take the bite if I got close enough; I’d bite her back!

Now lay your defenses at your side because I dare you to risk this one life you are given.
Look to her steady approach as she catches your scent.
Hold out your hands with cupped palms, and look firmly into those gems with understanding gaze.

If you can’t kneel before her, and accept her incisors at your throat,
If you quiver as she presses without hesitation, smoothly from clench to bite,
If you can’t quietly peer into the distance for those moments where she decides to drain you or not,
Then you aren’t the brave she is looking for.

Yes, she will bite, at times too hard. On the days her love is hardest,
You have to know that she will watch how you act, and put to heart your patience
If you can find a way through that armor, if you even bother,
Bless your hands when you hold her – A rose is more than form!

I Can Go Deeper – I Got It Like That

I’m off forgetting you like it’s something new
Can you hear me? Don’t try and steer me,
You don’t get me, no big deal to me, I’m not tryin to be a mystery
Lookin’ for something that’s harder “than just getting me” to see
Oh cause them others you just got all figured out,
They’re not deep enough to matter a lot,
Can’t hold out their arms and stop the clock,
Or touch your hand and start your heart
Slow it down and speed it back up, with only one call,
Maybe you’re the one or maybe you’re not,
Right now I’m not worrying a lot, Got the future in mind.
Along with my life, you trying to jump on a bumpy ride?
That’s alright, baby trust me I can smooth shit out for you
If I so choose to, Not here trying to lose you, I’m just young
Fun, and I’m moving a lot, so if you really down for me, try and keep up
Take the shot, don’t back off now, we’re already driving off the lot,
Aston martin music, baby top notch, hands firm on your ass, hear the sound as your heart pounds,
that’s your adrenaline, speedin’ you up, now I’m going to slow you down
Grab hold of you and take you down, good lovin’ bout to hear you nice and loud
as your vocals echo, mattress music sound, Bring you back from the atmosphere
Feed you with sanctification, I know you’re stayin’ here
and give you another second For your lungs to grab some air,
oh you thirsty let’s not forget hydration, i’ll take your mind off of it
Yeah you on a mini vacation, There’s no currency here but lovin’
And I’ve got plenty of it, so I hope you thought this through
Plenty of seconds off your watch you spent wondering what to do
But you and me both know That you don’t want to move,
Keep it right there, now put it there, wait that’s what up
It feels right when I got you tight, Hostage situation?
Maybe you can run one on me later tonight,
after this I know you going to throw the fight
Didn’t I tell you I’m sort of a mind reader, maybe more a sign reader
I read your body and now I’m telling you what I see
You can not get enough of me, so inhale deep in your lungs because you think
You can capture me like 0-2,
and as soon as you go to exhale, I’m leavin’ you, C-oh-2
Kind of like a boomerang, I’m here and then I’m gone again,
but if I throw you right, you’ll always come back to me

I wrote a rap

On Being Alive – Just Another Question

Of course there are things we’d all like;
Things we would love to see or know.
Of this there is no doubt, but why?
Beyond what grand life we already have,
Isn’t the gift of the five senses enough?
You take on more and more in your ship!
The pursuit of stuff to what ends?
Is this the truth of what propels us?
I don’t want to find that it is ignorance,
Nor greed that compels us to achieve.
I want it to be the courage to shine;
The desire to bring happiness forth.
The brilliance to combine the contrasts
between dark and bright into beauty.
I want us to be magic, burning reason
compelled by vision to become great.
And I can only look to my own self.
Maybe it is courage to seek this,
Filling of my chest with determination.
An object in motion tends to stay so,
Wondering  what throws me from rest.
Knowing I’m never truly at a stop,
Down an alley I walk peering into the dark
– IV

Do I see a star that calls me to my mark
Do I climb for the thrill or to an ends?