I Been Thinkin’ Bout You

Now I’m on the wave, gon’ ride till I wipe out,
And I’ been fired up,
I say my prayers to the sky when it’s lights out
because no one knows how long we’ll be living on this high
I say my prayers to the sky
because every night it’s what I’m lookin up to,
Ridin’ round I got to get it because these dreams cost,
I  been so focused, wasn’t thinking bout you when I wrote this
I been trying to play my part to see my visions unfold in front of me,
What this cold has done to me
What I’ve chosen to be, feelin’ like I’m the one
I hit the road bout to make a ride on that avenue
I hit your phone, tell you girl get ready and you better lose the attitude
Because I ain’t got no time for it
I don’t need you stressin’ me girl,
When you wanna know that I’m for it,
She don’t really give me what I need
When we lay between the sheets,
I get to reminiscin’ on my old thang
she don’t know this – I can’t show it – gotta stay focused
As she whisper in my ear
tellin’ me she love me,
Right here right now,
Right here right now,
Tellin’ me that she need me
Right here right now,
Right here right now,
Tell me that she want me
Right here right now,
Right here right now,
Say she gon’ put it on me
Right here right now
Right here right now,
I been thinkin’ bout you, bout you, bout you
Lately, I been thinkin’ bout you
All the things you used to do,
How you told me that you couldn’t stay
Tell me what I’m, I’m supposed to do
I feel like I’ve lost my way, without you, without you,
As I tell my new chick – slide through

Shit I just need you to feel me,
I swear I’m givin’ you the real me
Shit I just need you to hold me
I came a long way from the old me

Slide through

Nosce Te Ipsum

Do You? When your picking up your poison, do you feel the tinge in your nerves before you drink it down? Do you catch yourself and reason that it will be just fine? I bet you do.

Beautiful and broken pieces shattered glass all along the beach & I be drinking, I be mixing, and it’s not even the weekend

I knew this would come, I knew this would happen. It’s an age old rinse and repeat cycle with stains that never come out. I have been waiting for it. I’ve learned by now what to do, but still haven’t brought myself out to do it. You always want to believe you can prove yourself wrong in these matters – But you know that’s impossible with the intuition you’ve raised.

Write and do things that hurt, move to where you need to go rather than sitting around waiting to become numb to the shit, everything counts, even the small stuff.

I don’t know myself when I’m happy. So I haven’t written. I don’t mean to say that everything that came before was sad or even rooted in it, not at all. It scares me – because I’ve learned so far that I’ve gone and ruined all the happiness that has come before. I know I only brought the inevitable to the surface – Time running its own course would have done this regardless. So I guess I took fate and spun my own jacket. Wore it out and got the fit I was interested in. I’m alright with that. I like wearing and tear. The way you feel after digging a few trenches – Like an ice cold dip in the water is the only kind of refreshing that will get you good. Yeah you’ve got to be good before you can get great, so I go that way and then when I stand up like a wolf from the tundra, hungry and with focused intent, I seek the type of warmth that can only come from filling the belly. A deep warmth the sun can only begin to raise with its rays – A feast that fills you for days

That’s the thing about life, you can be right in it, right there, spending all the time you have with a person, and unless they speak it, unless they give voice to what is on their mind, you’ll never know what they are thinking. You can have ideas, but those ideas are only your own, feelings your own. You can’t know what they are thinking, but that’s the difficulty life throws at us – It’s hard because by default we only get to live one life first hand – All the other perspectives are postulated, hypotheses, drama we mix up in our skulls in hopes that we might have found someone else thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad, to spend together that oh so precious currency we all have come into by being here.

Know you, you’ve got so much you know you want to
I know you wanna,
I know you want to yeah,
You know I wanna,
You know
You know
You go up higher than me some days

When I’ve Gone, I Must Bring Myself Back

Pull me up from the slump, after I take a dip in the dark
Pulling on your hair, you telling me how much you need me.
Dear goddess the time I lost down there was worth going blind
so that I could see you new again tonight;
Ain’t that just the circle of life, ride it up and down,
when you hit the right wave crash into me,
and soak my memories – I need a drink please

There it is, I caught a glimpse!
The way you lock eyes with me,
It’s everything I must confess!
The intimacy of that deep gaze
Has me runnin’ through maze
And I can smell you, all over it
You’re in these star jasmines
Your geometry is the heavens
I might need to sit down a bit
Now you’re sittin’ down with me
And we’e exchanging swords
We’e exchanging strong words
Our minds slip with tongues
Speak stern when entering here
Soft spoken chest to breasts
High up with this, angels’ wings
There it is! There is the wind
My senses beseech me to stay
But this is not it, not the way,
My feet move, and my body too
One kiss & mind must go too!

I am only staying true to me, and in turn I lay true beside you