Mathematical Universe; A Beautiful Thing

“Deep down, you are a wondrous, autonomous mathematical function, with infinite capacity, seeking to find the optimal answer to yourself – which is why we are all obsessed with answers. That very drive for an “answer” is, if you think about it, the quintessence of living mathematics. What else would a mathematical universe do except find the optimal solution to itself?” – Unknown

This here is an ode to all the great thinkers prior–who did so much as they could, and even in their own greatness fell to traumas handed down to them from this world. May we all do our best to move beyond, to keep perspective, and grow. Here is hoping, with great effort to be continued, that the future will continue to stand taller upon the shoulders of those with great character each and every step of the way; that when we are confronted with the pivotal choice, we choose in the way of integrity and grit — with the lives of future generations in mind.

 

Was it really an ode? Not quite. But I’ve things to do.

Stay Wild

You do know how I enjoy the wild. I’m all about it, but the entire time we face to face, I’m looking to see if you’re one color; if you’re talking to me and you’ve got a different face for the situations we find ourselves in, then I can only tell you that I won’t try to keep with that. As soon as I see you acting brand new and showing me different cuts I’m going to have to tell you I’m not with it. Figure out who you are, and be that with me. You want to be royalty, then you know how to act.

I step back and listen because I think that you coming into yourself is the most magical thing I could ever hope to witness. It’s a dream, an ephemeral taste, a satisfaction that lingers with only a glow. Step down into that shadow light, tear into the cosmic night with a boundless high; squelching and more fucking howls; desire palms and digits like the maws of wolves to grip you by the throat and pour the vigour of ‘oh fuck-gasp, fuck’ down into your soul.

I bet that would wake you the fuck up, and keep you chasing lightning bugs on your back-snap, does this have your attention?

I can’t take you in the shower with me because you’ll get wet–can you get wet if you’re already wet?

Sang·froid

Composure or coolness, sometimes excessive, as shown in danger or under trying circumstances.

Joie de vivre, I’ll buy you roses all the time like a creep!

Say it over and over, play it how you want but I do not alter what I put up.

I will walk away with nothing and feel my heart grating against the bottom.

It must feel something to be apart of the greater definition

As the clock round, It became so wretchedly painful – to not love who I was – that when I finally did, the pain did not cease for as I loved me in that moment, the I was just minutes gone; a lingering smile on the face of someone new. A ghostly sense that I knew the previous tenant of the building, but only nostalgia would ever return.

Temporary. It is all fleeting. And I just wanted to catch a glimpse of the mind space I’ve entered. A golden soul, and I want to transmute it to lead and back again so I can say I did the hardest task twice; I’d even risk never returning because I’m okay with leaving the shore.

Be light, be water, adapt, and grow, you beautiful ambiance,
when I come into a room I ask them to set the mood to you.
Aura aura, warm glow. You are the fire spark I want to grow.

—————————————————————-

“Whoso list to hunt, I know where is an hind,
But as for me, hélas, I may no more.”
The place I seek is the shore that is no more.
A historical moment that is out of reaches!
No work, but memory can return it,
And only briefly before the bellows
overwhelm with today’s fire

Some People Really Do What They Love

“Life comes down to this — you can do anything, there are no limits to what you can achieve, but you do have to decide what you want to do, and then get to doing it.” – One of the secrets of life

Why are we always waiting? It is the man, the woman; who does not wait – patient – but refuses to wait, who becomes successor to the gods

I sat for a long time with this. I let the music play until I did not recognize where I had been or where I was. I am sure where I started was seeking to find that fable of all fables, but that forever eternal is a frozen moment, not much longer than the instant it takes for a molecule of water to slow down to a freeze and move back into a flow with the temperature fluctuating the way it does. It’s a complex measure, in truth, we have no measure yet to define and capture all that is encompassed; apart from perhaps that indelible mark, the arrow that always strikes true on the person who is fully human. Love; Stronger than man-rejoicing wine? More inextricably linked as they share a similar visceral – guts on the table – joy, and dichotomy of honesty & deceit ever tearing. Yes, I sat for a long time and I would offer up the notion that love can stand to measure every nuance from end to end.

Some people really do what they love,
and others are driven beyond love
because it’s not enough. To them and I both,
I offer my felicitations – a belly full of wine
when and if the time ever comes.

What are you waiting for?

 

Do This Because You Must

“Not being able to create art, they will not understand art.”

I have become very fond of our scuttling, our tossing and turns
Where are we going but in the arms of another once more,
into the rays of the brightest days ahead, and the soothing darks

Shadows passing by, to a classical promenade – we’re filled
with the ecstasy of a new favorite taste,
touch upon these tongues the juice of gods
the dripping filth of a fruit truly enjoyed, flesh devoured.

You dove in and let the primal loose, and used your skin like a paint brush,
Dragging across the sky until every star shone precisely how you desired,
and you desired a lot – You desired that every breath be held properly as you moved,
and passed with a right amount of resistance, a reminder that something in you is raging
to leave its mark! Clawing with every neural snap, every electrical pulse, POW – it will
leave the walls of your room dripping if that’s where you want the master work, it calls;
a summoning howl to the torrents within, dangerous, but magic always wins.

Sacral, Oblation, and Hallow

I hold the sacrificial dirk, a dirge dripping in blood,
it’s clear I keep making choices.

You ever make a mistake while actively knowing it,
and say, “ah fuck it.” ?

Life you showed me,
doing nothing because of sense
But because it struck the senses;
Because it felt good.

You did things this way because you lived out a different chord with different rules and expectations; things that applied to you and only you. To say I understood could only be a man trying with every sinew to convince the other in an argument, with passion that he struggled, and knew what it meant to live from your center.

How presumptuous. How pompous.

I wanted it though, o I wanted to comprehend, I deserved to for all I’d worked towards — to be at one with that mind and give it my nod of approval. But fuck approval. Every entity that seeks it dips into the darkness afraid of its own shadow. And that thing which I wanted, would no longer be desired if it sought to illuminate the dark out of fear for what might be beneath its cover. Go into the dark curious; feel on your hands and knees – claw for discovery, and be beset by hunger no more.

Everything is a sacrifice — What will you wither, what will you grow?

I Want To Taste It Again

I fill these lungs with just enough of you so that I’ll never quite say I had you, I watched the minutes go by, without even noticing them. The days they talked, barely did we touch, barely did we know each other’s love. The potential is far too much! For you to truly know anyone. Save that one you can.

This is the beauty of us. We show one another things we never knew existed within, lighting paths to new spaces, creating realms of wondrous joy – and then we fall. At first it might feel like you are empty. For what will you now do with all the unoccupied spaces? It is wrong to think you must remain with such a feeling – Empty. You at this point must find the perspective to see possibility beyond this supposed container. You must now grow to fill your expanded self! You must grow to meet your new heights

You’ve got to remember that the world isn’t going to wait up for you. It isn’t going to sit patiently while you get comfortable – while you get the order straight. Fuck order, and forget all that shit they tried to instill in you because what you end up finding is you spend your entire life trying to piece together some image that never does look exactly right to you. It’s magic don’t get me wrong, but you’re barely grasping what’s really at your fingertips. Until you do, all you have is a couple unconnected dots that may get you high or bring you down. And have you ever gotten high or down without a sense of direction? Talk about exhausting – only the crazy ones survive that.

A Real Feeling

Sometimes the only thing that makes writing good, is the honesty.

At the end of a slow crawl of a lonely day,
the nicest bit might be the cold burgers in the fridge,
and the clean unused plate set out next to the dirty one.

For me? I guess it doesn’t matter.. but I took it as a nice gesture

Why Am I Gone?

People will lie in this life to make it easier for themselves

You can’t blame them because they lie to themselves too.

But the bare blunt truth? You don’t do it for me. That’s it.

There is no lie, nothing hidden in it. You just don’t work.

It is an insurmountable ledge, you must wrestle up onto.

Go ahead and get struggling. Most everyone will suffer it.

Swallow. Again.

It’s okay. Just accept that yours is a different happiness;

Different than what you are seeking. You know the truth.

We’re All gods of Love Here

Love, me lights out,
Burn the sky down
Love, me lights out,
Burn the sky down

Lure me back with waves
Pull me deep beneath the shades;
I think I’m below
Your neck is the road

Lull me you’re the eye,
Rati your sweet lips;
Oshun I beg for a drink!

Tales of the banquet–I’m drunk all over again
I’m there all one again,
The first moon, the last full notebook

I’ve been reading your words,
And after all the pages,
Only the last virgin remains.

Imagine the last time I’ll be surprised at what you say
I don’t want to listen, what if I’m swayed,
at the end, with no more words to decide against.

Xochiquetzal, Clíodhna,
Take me on a way,
Lay me down at sea!
What vastness will I be

I’ chose you and you’re gone, and that’s ironic and cliche for a song

---

To be expanded