What Does It Take? Confidence; It’s All Confidence’

Do you think I love you? If I spoke nothing, could you tell from how I act? Without words to run over you, would my warm soul be enough to keep you out of the cold? If not, then I fear I did not live my life as I had dreamt it; That was where I fumbled – I dreamt it all, and did not act in a way that would bring my dreams to reality. I did not act in a way that would give to you reasons beyond believing; You know my take on faiths.

Are there people who truly believe there is not one thing they can not do? I’ve been on fire like that before! The flames don’t do any harm … at first. They light up the room, illuminate the corridors and corners, and before long you’re cooking in the kitchen – Nourished like a god. Naturally we begin to find that comfort. How could one not find the slightest comfort in waking the mind of a god? Played true to the self It’s so unbelievably intrinsic, from a base level, that we quickly hit the pitfalls; It’s so bright all the time that you begin to adjust to it. You claim that it is dark and begin to over saturate; You piled on too much fuel didn’t you? The flames don’t hurt at first – Then all they do is burn; You don’t forget. You won’t forget.

It is easy to forget all the lessons we integrated along the way; It is easy to forget that we are still required to breathe above all the other things we deem important. Yes, it is the number one lesson. It is something so simple and important, yet despite that importance, you are not to hold on to it. Don’t you see now? What all along your very breath has been trying to teach?

Don’t tell me that shit; You know damn well you can tell if it’s one way or another. You’ve drank my blood and know my death. I can not promise that this will be an easy thing to piece together. It took me all the years of my life so far. I had to find the pieces of the puzzle, but it was so much more than that. The study of each one as an entire individual. Holding each up to the sun to check it’s authenticity, and then sleeping with it under my pillow for many nights – Is there anything I have not allowed to permeate into my mind? You should be able to tell – Haven’t you been spelunking enough to know? I guess it is hard to discern when your head is constantly finding itself thrashed about by these waves.

God, look at her take another hit. Everything is so smooth, all of her is flowing softly; On the outside flames burn controlled – She is a back-draft waiting to roar, and I have no desire to run from the blast. If people are to be damned, then being damned together is a sweeter trail for us to taste. Isn’t it appalling how depressed you get? You’ve got all the finest things a child could grab at, all the refined taste of an aged wine, and dripping juices like a peach of immortality – We’ll have our own feast ; All we can eat; We’ll walk around in a jade palace – We’ll live indefinitely. Together? That depends on how well we learn to forgive. Olympus knows the troubles that can be had when you have forever.

Yes, we must learn to manage these pesky grains of sand. I asked once if I could place an entire desert in our hourglass – Perhaps we’d have time to digest; To find room for those desserts you always wanted. I remember when you spent the whole day running errands to make one that day. Oh goodness, it was sweeter than laying in bed after accepting that you just don’t have it in you to get up quite so fast – The last grain slipped by while I waited for an answer. I’ve never much enjoyed waiting since.

It all goes downhill at some point. Things have to come down. That’s the way it works. I know I’m a broken record, telling you this again, but what do you expect to come from this high? There is a come down at the end. Maybe we we can land softly, for sure you go back up – How many times can you stand back up with me after hitting the ground?

What will you drink at this divide? Is it me or will you kneel to the well?

Why Don’t You Ask Her

And I’m going to be truth telling here; I spent some time doing things that if I had told the complete truth someone would have lost faith in humanity, but you know I couldn’t let them do that – I’m humanity – A look in my eyes will tell you: As I point to your mind, your soul, your heart, that I can’t let us down that road again. We have places to go and it’s a good ways away, but we can’t speed up our progression without missing the vital keys – Now I’m getting kinetic with it, touching senses you didn’t expect of this writ, this is more than some zeros in a bank and you can’t deny the statement –  I can’t lie when I tell you the truth, if you want to hear it this is what he said, “Why don’t you ask her.”

I bet the sex is good. She laughed. You know what you feel and I don’t have to say anything more. I can read your eyes like they were the neon lights on them Vegas signs – You void like a stolen credit card, and that ain’t what is meant to be found in the fountain; There should be an endless spout of joy pouring out them, but only you can remove the block and let it flow green into the valley – I been talking about this way too much and still the way you drinking it hasn’t been enough.

Even though I got nothing I’ve got it all, it’s on ten, and everything you reach for you consume, and soon you’re empty again for sure, but you know that’s on you. So what you going to do? Ain’t no tellin’ how the boy is going to change – We can only hope that he does, but that isn’t for you to stick around and wait on cause you got things that need attending to, so why don’t you go on and build a new life for you

Going up, putting everything on the line, because I’m done walking it, it’s about me this time – I’m selfish and deciding it’s fine

I’m Going To Take You Into The Dark

Now I’m afraid of what she finds in the dark, as I’ve seen her crawling, and sprawling me with her arms.
Do you know dangerous? Have you ever been trapped in a labyrinth? Would you walk straight into the dark and trust your senses – or would you put your hands out afraid to leave the wall? I’ve got words for her that describe a horrible tragedy beautifully, and she’s looking like it. Wonder if there is any point to all this? I’m sure death could be such a point, but only for a moment – I guess the only question that matters is, “Is the grass wet?”

I’ve begun to feel that the drugs are a way to think;
I’m beginning to think that the drugs are a way to feel;
Your body pressed hard against my frame, at this rate
It seems no matter what I pick up, I can’t put it down
My reason neglects it or I’ve got a good one to abuse
Told you do it right, so your eyes change and light up

Burn these clothes off to get our souls off, awakening
Standing in the rain and I’m all lightning up, every oz,
Of love is another 28.35 grams I’ll hit of us till it’s gone

You want more, this bank is always open,
Walk through that door even if you’re choking
Want some air, there’s none of that here
Only what you need; Come and get lifted.

“Come and get lifted”

Oh you missed the hues you couldn’t see with the lights on didn’t you

I’m On My Way

When I feel that my own side of the bed is cold,
Some things start to make sense, fallin’ into place,
I’m wondering what I’m writing on my own face

Why does it become so hard towards the end;
to kill off my demons?
Why do they scream?
Why do they cry in my ears?
Why do they refuse to go from my flesh,
without suffocating my cells to the mitochondria,
Am I to ever be free of these dead birds around my head?

Alas, I walk amongst tall woods,
and by the branches spread,
I glimpse the true light;
my mind wrestles my heart,
my body all but torn to part,
whispers I need not fear,
for my soul, be I all ears,
will find me at rest some day

Well You’ve Gone & Stolen The Wrong Pillar

Will you understand it all upon first glance?
No, I doubt it. There is far more here than words.

It is with great irony I believe, that the last thing to leave most of us is our ability to grip this earth; Perhaps it’s so that the stubborn among us will not even upon death grasp the purpose of their life without a fair effort.

We are loving, but together we’re incompatible love – Although recent growth has shown promise of future beauty, your nerves remember; They shutter without speaking, and it is a deep choice to go against fair warning. I am not of such arrogant hubris to request that strength; I would never ask you to travel to such depths. But it is a place with a calming allure; If you ever feel the desire to dip your feet in the water once in a while – Go ahead tell me it ain’t so sweet – I wouldn’t mind feeling a little closer to your side of things when you close your eyes and see the place where you used to be alive.

I don’t remember my dreams when I sleep anymore. I’d like to think that it is because my waking hours are so incredibly exhilarating to each of the senses that there is no need for my soul to dream. I am there in my heaven each moment I am awake, stepping cloud to cloud! It may be that for all I do during the day, my weary mind begs me to give it reprieve; Yes, I always decline, and so it does the best it can quieting the night allowing me to go along the way I have chosen. I do consider my choice here to have potential for alarm. To put your success in the hands of human choice isn’t the most confident of bets – collectively we’ve all made choices; Look at how that turned out. My confidence in myself moving forwards does work to put it all at ease. Observation would tell you I’ve never been one to go for ease though.

I like that side of her; That side that wants to pretend it didn’t happen. That means it did and she’s thinking about it; That means all of this is a hard choice – That means it is something worth considering against the contrary. She was talking, clearly, always clear, but she chose to say this quietly as if to make sure I was really listening – And I was. I didn’t have to listen, but I wanted to. I wanted her to speak until the entire world lay asleep except for me, following the senses through her wooded foothills of cognition. I would give of my time, and keep the ceiling from caving in while she read from her scrolls. Sure the shelves were burning down around us, but this was what I wanted to put it all towards – The preservation of peace and true wonder, a mystery that would never be solved, for a bit longer. Then, without need for anything more, I would leave the woods as sacred as I had found it. I would leave it more peaceful than when I had entered.

That’s When I Knew I Had Done The Worst

If you chase that train – Perfection – You will be chasing it until they bar you in your grave. There is no true release of the throttle; Not until you are coming to a full stop; Even then we’re always looking for a way to keep a little on the gas.

She would watch everything as a peripheral; Her head turned to side as if she was certain of her skepticism. You end up wondering – Would my death be approved? I used to be cynical, you changed that. You really did alter the course I was on with just a bit of hope. People make some dumb fucking decisions. They decide with people who don’t give a fuck about them in mind; They decide based on feeling some sort of obligation created purely by their distorted sense of self. They decide based on fear. With what I learned from you, I won’t make any of those foolish moves.

I was chasing through the city of faith, if I could just reconcile my disbelief with where I had found my feet. She was inked – Far more than the sketches of past lovers covered her skin. Even the hardest of warriors can kneel before the softest of things; Don’t be fooled, this softness is purely out of love – I mentioned once – The fiercest thing I ever felt was her bearing fangs down on me. I quiver at the way I was rounded out, the way I was gleaned from roughness, the way my cracks were filled as she lay atop me pressing into whatever wounds I now have long become one with. That night she gleamed like the crest of a lighthouse from my chest, and still I could only pretend to not be blind to love.

Let me ask you; Would you sell your soul,
You know I can’t help but laugh at this – Wait, let me finish okay?
Go ahead, no you first – I would. You didn’t let me finish,
You know me, whatever you have to say wouldn’t change it,
And I know you, you’d take the risk no matter what – Just to see me first hand

And I might miss you if I start to think of you, and that’s something I don’t wanna do, So I’ll hit up a bottle instead of you, yeah I’m leaving, no going back – Call me weak, but it took incredible strength to pick up another drink. Hell, I was speeding. There was no telling if I could keep it together, and at this point it doesn’t have any consequence since we’re beyond that. You are half of us, but we are enough; We are whole to start like every puzzle fresh out of the box – It just takes time to put together.

Sometimes I Go Driving Just Looking For A Light To Run

Is it fair of you to tell me that you’ll never leave? Is it not until the point that you do; that we realize our fault in using such ignorance to peddle our love. You fucking love me now – You have this now, and I’ve been waiting. This isn’t about timing or making too big of mistakes, it’s about here and now; We are in a tizzy

Sometimes I need to close my eyes until you go away.

She was screaming. I knew this was going to be the way it all turned; I would kill us one day, she said. I would be the death of us. I knew she was in the right – To say that stirred me up, got all my flavors heated. I remember muttering under my breath that night. Drunk, slipping consciousness, drifting in and out – I told her that I might be the one. She wouldn’t hear me that night. I had a chance to tell her later on in a deciding scene for my character; She was so beautiful when she prodded me for what had barely sprouted from my lips. I couldn’t tell her, however that’s not what is important here. I was not of significant dignity to admit it to my own self, yet.

Here I am,
in your arms,
is where I want to be,
hold me close,
give me warmth,
little lady.

I don’t always get around to you. I don’t always show what I should. A lot of the times I hold it all in like a man hunting his survival; Sustenance in mother nature, finger on the trigger, eye barreling down the gun, sights on salvation – as he begins to breathe out ready to claim his days – Revealed is your softness; Fucking hell, there it is in all its’ magnificence – The dawn of a new age, life in the positive direction, like a new born fawn to bless the grounds of our planet. I put my means down, and accept that I have what I need. Perhaps it is okay for me to starve a few desires – Yes, I think it might suffer me some good… So I laid there; Crashed like the wreck of the Hesperus on the reef of Norman’s Woe. It was quiet, the way you would have liked it at one point in time. It was quiet, and all I could think to say was let’s raise children that won’t have to recover from their childhoods. That was a silly dream wasn’t it? But the power it held still keeps me company.

 

Am I rushing this?
I know I always took it slow,
I’m not capable of policing my own speed like this
Could you please tell me what the posted limit was?

Let’s get this straight; I don’t need any part of you. I’ve got your taste burned into my senses, and can recall it if I ever care to – I won’t look for you anymore. I am the only one in the room, I don’t see you in my peripherals, I don’t ask permission before I take you like Persephone down into the river – I got defensive again. I was a harsh freeze, too cold for you to feel me; Our hands lost their dexterity. I remember one time I was furious, angered, hurting… You guided me down, like the air that slows gravity on a feather, you summoned shields to shelter, you showered me with the deepest soothe for my soul . And just like that it all became smooth. I looked out over the apartment, which was more like a thousand mile gaze into the  expanse that was the universe standing guard at the gate of your soul; Me with nothing in my cup, at the edge of it all and an infinite distance, prepared to make that crossing regardless of the eternities it would take.

Do you see her in any of this? Why do you always ask me that, you know I don’t.
I know you enough to know that despite how hard you’ve tried to hide it; to hide from it is impossible.

What Does It Take? Confidence; It’s All Confidence

Do you think I love you? If I spoke nothing, could you tell from how I act? Without words to run over you, would my warm soul be enough to keep you out of the cold? If not, then I fear I did not live my life as I had dreamt it; That was where I fumbled – I dreamt it all, and did not act in a way that would bring my dreams to reality. I did not act in a way that would give to you reasons beyond believing; You know my take on faiths.

Are there people who truly believe there is not one thing they can not do? I’ve been on fire like that before! The flames don’t do any harm … at first. They light up the room, illuminate the corridors and corners, and before long you’re cooking in the kitchen – Nourished like a god. Naturally we begin to find that comfort. How could one not find the slightest comfort in waking the mind of a god? Played true to the self It’s so unbelievably intrinsic, from a base level, that we quickly hit the pitfalls; It’s so bright all the time that you begin to adjust to it. You claim that it is dark and begin to over saturate; You piled on too much fuel didn’t you? The flames don’t hurt at first – Then all they do is burn; You don’t forget. You won’t forget.

It is easy to forget all the lessons we integrated along the way; It is easy to forget that we are still required to breathe above all the other things we deem important. Yes, it is the number one lesson. It is something so simple and important, yet despite that importance, you are not to hold on to it. Don’t you see now? What all along your very breath has been trying to teach?

Don’t tell me that shit; You know damn well you can tell if it’s one way or another. You’ve drank my blood and know my death. I can not promise that this will be an easy thing to piece together. It took me all the years of my life so far. I had to find the pieces of the puzzle, but it was so much more than that. The study of each one as an entire individual. Holding each up to the sun to check it’s authenticity, and then sleeping with it under my pillow for many nights – Is there anything I have not allowed to permeate into my mind? You should be able to tell – Haven’t you been spelunking enough to know? I guess it is hard to discern when your head is constantly finding itself thrashed about by these waves.

God, look at her take another hit. Everything is so smooth, all of her is flowing softly; On the outside flames burn controlled – She is a back-draft waiting to roar, and I have no desire to run from the blast. If people are to be damned, then being damned together is a sweeter trail for us to taste. Isn’t it appalling how depressed you get? You’ve got all the finest things a child could grab at, all the refined taste of an aged wine, and dripping juices like a peach of immortality – We’ll have our own feast ; All we can eat; We’ll walk around in a jade palace – We’ll live indefinitely. Together? That depends on how well we learn to forgive. Olympus knows the troubles that can be had when you have forever.

Yes, we must learn to manage these pesky grains of sand. I asked once if I could place an entire desert in our hourglass – Perhaps we’d have time to digest; To find room for those desserts you always wanted. I remember when you spent the whole day running errands to make one that day. Oh goodness, it was sweeter than laying in bed after accepting that you just don’t have it in you to get up quite so fast – The last grain slipped by while I waited for an answer. I’ve never much enjoyed waiting since.

It all goes downhill at some point. Things have to come down. That’s the way it works. I know I’m a broken record, telling you this again, but what do you expect to come from this high? There is a come down at the end. Maybe we we can land softly, for sure you go back up – How many times can you stand back up with me after hitting the ground?

What will you drink at this divide? Is it me or will you kneel to the well?

Diadem’s Folly – 3

Arisen from my dreaming to such an alarm, I could hear not but my heart; blood running my veins. My guide, she stood still with locking gaze. If one could give silence after such an intimate use of blade then I should expect no word from her barren lips, but the complacency of these waking dreams – I still embrace to the warmth of such a cold chance – She cut her gaze towards East. I presume we are behind and without time. Yet she remains stoically leveled. For reason I could not discern, I sense this disconcerting calm would soon be stirred. She moves and simultaneously I alert to the falling of limbs cracking through the unsettled quiet of the wood. Her hand placed upon the trunk of a massive Wilder tree, not even a flinch as the splinters flew about the air whiffing her hair. Looking upon her demeanor I seem to replicate it. It’s as if every step she takes, every hand placed, works to awaken some great image within me. I feel urged to welcome it.

There is a reason we tread with a hop in our step.