I know what you want. I know what you’re looking for – Why don’t you just come ask for it – It’s not like it’s lost, it doesn’t need to be found. You don’t even need a map to get to it. All those things you’ve scrawled out in the mornings like you were invigorated, like new life came beckoning you out into the wild to seek a glimpse of your tattered soul; It’s a chase after the thrills of the primitive hunt; An excuse so that deep down you can cover up the sanctimonious lie you pour over yourself when you need a drink – But hey, it’s nine in the afternoon somewhere right?
I was going real high there,
I felt like I could really fly you here.
Like I had all those things they sing about;
I’ve got a lot they go without, they don’t know about
Their money isn’t one of them, but I do just fine.
Aim not to let it prey on me,
I’d rather let art be the death of me
I bet I taste better than all that gold
Flavor profile hits all your zones
Frontal view? I’ll slide in the back
Pack it tight so the flight is right
Maybe where I’m taking this is past, ridiculous;
I thought I had the mind for this trick
Like most people I invested, but still couldn’t figure it
Yet nobody has a clue, I’m out the zoo,
I wonder if you know the road, I wonder if you’ll come thru
I wonder if you’ll find your home
I wonder what you wonder too
I cut through to the place you might call deep, but we’re all surface level. I can’t get where your dark corners are with this candle I’m holding, and I wouldn’t even try from where I am. Do you have something to say? No, I guess you didn’t this time around. I couldn’t tell by the way you gazed from the tip of your nose. I wonder if you still know my scent, wonder if I was nearby could you search me out? You should have been there for all the dates I’ve gone on, we all laughed and had a good time, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing has been yet, and I know it’s awful, because everyone wants so much.
I feel like all my words want to leave me
Like it wasn’t fair that I spoke em’ all,
but now they’re here and it’s all you are
I’m patient now, but I wasn’t when I had the time – I know I can keep you up all night
“You know when the ride goes around and it starts to come to a stop, you think, I wish it were still going… Well life is.”
Isn’t it peculiar how after so many rides we begin to find ourselves slightly bored with the initial going up on a coaster?
No one can deny that the anticipation it builds doesn’t lend to the exhilaration of taking that first plummet; leading into a soaring rise – It’s entertainment. We took a few goes, and start to wear thin on the purpose of anticipation. No one wants to wait anymore, hell no one wants the ride to end.
Realize that the wait is crucial to the ride. I’ve seen people go round and round thinking they’ve got everything they could hope for – You can see it occurring – They start to grow tired. They forget what was so exciting and breathtaking about the whole happening to begin with. Removing themselves from the circle, from the immersion of the wait, has sullied their experience. It has taken from them their potential to fully enjoy, and captivate what it was that gasped within them.
I was going real high there,
I was going real high there,
I felt like I could
I felt like I would
Do you really want to hear about the keeper? Are you sure it’s not too late this time around?
He’s a very poignant man… shows up usually with his go to phrase in mouth, “You know me, we really don’t have the time for this” As he lights up one those cigarettes he’s always burning that never seems to finish.Told me once that it had something to do with the one paradox, you know that one where you keep dividing the remainder of the distance left to travel. Somehow you end up with an infinite amount of segments still to smoke, all a little less than before, but hey a little still counts as long as it isn’t effort. At least that is what he would say – He is always putting in the effort.
And in all fairness he isn’t being cold and calculating; We do have somewhere to be after all – If you don’t believe that, we should really get to talking about the record keeper at some point – This really seems convoluted, but you’ll just have to stick it out since you asked; I can’t apologize for something you’ll wish I hadn’t for later on.
Perhaps it’s all to make up for something he isn’t allowed to go back and change,
“Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn’t, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.” – Emma Forrest
I watched her walk around with it for a long time; She saw me do the same – It was in our eyes, in the way we hesitated to say hi. You know, everyone has questions they wouldn’t mind asking, but it’s too much to ask of a person if you aren’t sure they wouldn’t mind. It’s too much to try and press yourself into the cracks, and attempt to soak out whatever shouldn’t be left to fester. So that’s what happens. Eventually we get around to tending them or someone else comes around and reminds us that we should take care of it – That it is okay to take care of yourself. And that’s when we get the chance to grow, where we are reminded that silence is our friend. We want to say something, but we have broken that trust, and it is up to someone else to restore it. Don’t woe over what you did in error because that only leaves behind what should be removed. Years later it will be healed, and forgiven; All things in time will be fine.
I was chasing through the city of faith, if I could just reconcile my disbelief with where I had found my feet. She was inked – Far more than the sketches of past lovers covered her skin. Even the hardest of warriors can kneel before the softest of things; Don’t be fooled, this softness is purely out of love – I mentioned once – The fiercest thing I ever felt was her bearing fangs down on me. I quiver at the way I was rounded out, the way I was gleaned from roughness, the way my cracks were filled as she lay atop me pressing into whatever wounds I now have long become one with. That night she gleamed like the crest of a lighthouse from my chest, and still I could only pretend to not be blind to love.
Of course I wanted to ask, I felt it deep within me to know what you held, but I knew it wasn’t my place to – I always wondered if you understood my silence, and if you never did… I accepted how you’d see me.
“She showed up, tragic and beautiful, with a kind of necessity for which I was grateful to her. She was wearing a dark red dress, and a very pretty black hat with a net, which gave her a fateful look – the look of a woman still young but already marked by life.” – Simone de Beauvoir, from Letters to Sartre
A look to the sky and my eyes could not tell the difference between the light that stood before me, and the one that hovers above all our days. I stood immediately in awe of the rise that comes in rays through the blinds: My mind quickened, “She must like tea, why have I not readied tea already.” She could read my elated spirit, for I basically spoke to her of it from the doorway as I sent out the telegram about how she got me reflecting on the way I stood, and checking my breathing to make sure I was doing that still. She laughed and said, “I know you only get this disheveled at the start, you’re really much cooler than you know.” At this time I could feel my Amygdala pulling on my color, what a good read – I settled in to myself and shot her a smile, “Dear you do know me better than most, let me get you a cuppa.” As I turned and motioned her to come with me I realized that this is as far as we’d ever come. Never did she go further than the foyer, no, she had always been content with standing in my doorway; Playing me like Philip Glass’ Metamorphosis I – And then heading off before II-V could be wrung out – What audience could go on content after such a whetting of tongue? She came to a soft halt, “Dirty, won’t you take my hand for such a momentous occasion as this? “Tea?” I wryly remarked as I turned my gaze to her. Twitterpated, she shot me some quick sarcasm, “Yes, tea; All the tea in China.” Now isn’t it, “Not for all of the tea in China? Laughing as she tugged my arm, she gave me a look that to this day is crystal clear, one of those “You won’t pass this up, not for all the tea in China,” looks.
Now hold on, hold on, hold on.
What is it?
Are you kidding me right now?
I don’t kid.
You are completely off the wall.
I really am.
You know what I meant mate.
Oh, I read?
That is not a look you can read.
I swear it.
Yes, tea; All the tea in China.
I didn’t pass.
I bet you sure as hell wouldn’t
Well I did say.
Not for all of the tea in China.
Come on now!
Hold no jealousy over a nap that lends no rest for it is as empty as the gesture of closing my eyes to sleep these days. She walked in on me in a dark place
“Inner beauty, too, needs occasionally to be told it is beautiful.” – Unknown
Whether it is anger or sadness, it’s okay to bring them here because I know how quiet the woods can get, and it is something you need when you’re looking for a soft place to hold up that will be equally as hard on the things you’re working to change – Yes, I know how quiet they can get, but don’t conclude that it is weak, god no the roots go deep; They hold far more together than the shallow mind will take notice of. You feel it in the gentle echo of brother wind whirling through the lush undergrowth, knocking on the windows of all the forest’s denizens – You feel it like the touch of rainfall through the branches, dripping down the bark and kissing the sacred ground. This is the art of your insides, a mental construction of the temple that is your spirit’s vessel, it is your greatest achievement. This is the story of all the times you drew water from the well, the details of how your hands gripped the rope to your center and gracefully lowered your skull cap down into the depths – It took grit to resist the burning in your fingers, the singing of your palms, but you did. This is that story, this is that little anecdote of the time you gave everything with no guarantee that anything was coming back, and how at times you trembled, but you never gave in. You never needed to be told, you pushed through every step of the unknown path, and only you know what you found; What blessed beauty!
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, to help them reveal the greatest version of himself.” – Steve Maraboli
And if I changed would you like to see where I go?
If I stayed the same would you love me enough when you go?
I know we can’t answer these questions truthfully!
Because only time can tell how we will come to be ourselves.
Understand these days we go by at rapid advance
I’ll not hold you back from whatever is within your universes
I’ll even come along now and again,
Stop by and have tea on the nearest planet to you
Try to pick somewhere not too humid:
Yes, you know I prefer to bring my own raging rivers.
Oh my was this a grand time for life!
I hear them calling – How long to be patient
These days belong to us as always!
As much as I’d like to stay, to my path it will not be true:
Please don’t forget you’re always here.
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.” – Louis de Bernières
You feel it, you felt it, you know this.
Erupting; You ring loudly, and after a time you settle in:
There is nothing to be ashamed of,
What was you were, and you have more breaths to take.
Know that even the Sun will stop burning one day – It is not a failure, but the way of things.
Day to day the little moments in which I am alive; Those little instants in which I take a breath consciously and hold it just a little longer: Even though at surface level that’s impossible. The face of the earth and all her beauty; Her light and her darkness, her softness and her necessary adamance. Her hope in the face of doubting shadows – Her desire to give when the vessel appears empty – Those who gift happiness because they would never have it all to themselves; You, yes you too inspire me most with all your growth and elements I’m still discovering.
Let me take this walk along the countryside where I will find you down by the riverside, tip toes dipped in the water running wild child, I want to reach out my hand and fall into your stream, with a howl at the moon beneath it’s glow, from the depths of the tall grass, I’ll soothe your bones, deep into the night we’ll topple walls, walk among the ruins and step down from thrones, because we could have it all, but we learned from the fall: The way we smile when we found out we were born of the stars; It’s common courtesy to remind each other of our natural wonders and here beneath this willow tree I use my will to feed on you the ripened fruit while you watch me bleed out all my tragedy; Here I wear no mask because there is no need: Always the universe was inside of me; Hiding is impossible when you are lightning – So why don’t we really brighten up, crash down and start a primordial stew for two – Thirst is an understatement when you’ve devoured the dunes, have a drink I’ll pour it out of you, fountains will flow, and mountains will move. The winds will breathe change and we’ll have already left our old ways – And then we’ll go for a run, stretch out these limbs and fly for fun, all in a day when you know how to play – Along the way to Golgonooza
And I’m going to be truth telling here; I spent some time doing things that if I had told the complete truth someone would have lost faith in humanity, but you know I couldn’t let them do that – I’m humanity – A look in my eyes will tell you: As I point to your mind, your soul, your heart, that I can’t let us down that road again. We have places to go and it’s a good ways away, but we can’t speed up our progression without missing the vital keys – Now I’m getting kinetic with it, touching senses you didn’t expect of this writ, this is more than some zeros in a bank and you can’t deny the statement – I can’t lie when I tell you the truth, if you want to hear it this is what he said, “Why don’t you ask her.”
I bet the sex is good. She laughed. You know what you feel and I don’t have to say anything more. I can read your eyes like they were the neon lights on them Vegas signs – You void like a stolen credit card, and that ain’t what is meant to be found in the fountain; There should be an endless spout of joy pouring out them, but only you can remove the block and let it flow green into the valley – I been talking about this way too much and still the way you drinking it hasn’t been enough.
Even though I got nothing I’ve got it all, it’s on ten, and everything you reach for you consume, and soon you’re empty again for sure, but you know that’s on you. So what you going to do? Ain’t no tellin’ how the boy is going to change – We can only hope that he does, but that isn’t for you to stick around and wait on cause you got things that need attending to, so why don’t you go on and build a new life for you
Going up, putting everything on the line, because I’m done walking it, it’s about me this time – I’m selfish and deciding it’s fine