Lessons From Vesuvias & the Other Yous.

She was soft, the kind that made me see a whole other world outside my own. It was dividing though, because it pissed me off sometimes too. 

No owl,  I wasnt pissed. I was challenged. I was charging my head against a wall that I couldn’t break down with my brute perseverance. A soft wall that absorbs the force of my mental efforts. My annoyance was a sign of my willingness to reach deep for calm, to find deeper soil I could stick my hands into and root. I wonder if vesuvias learned anything about himself the last time he let obtuseness get the best of him. All those innocents, all that beauty… Just because he couldn’t open his eyes and see the fertile soils. But that’s just the way we turn over. How many others might have blown the same fuse had they not lived in the time of pompei?

And yet I have. Learning first hand is just so much more exhilarating, and efficient. As much as 14% learn from their own mistakes compared to the 3% who learn at all from others–And perhaps pulled from it aptitude to work smarter.

Mordrid, Mordrid, boy – There are some things in life that can not be made up. Alibis are not one of those things. — Lessons from Vesuvias and the other yous.

 

I got the juice, I got the juice, taste it — drink it, tell me you ain’t thirsty too, tell me you ain’t got wounds! Drink this and watch it all pour through, flows have always been my swoon, ohhhh you never tasted clarity, fizz, bite on your tongue — BOOM

The Crimes Committed

I wonder if I’ll ever be sorry for the crimes I’ve committed

History repeats itself, so I’m waiting patiently for you to tell me again, tell me again,
I let a few things trail off, I let a few things get covered in dust, and this jouska
I know exactly where things were left though, the vellichor of the place is to die for.

What were you telling me again?
What a thing I have come to desire
Warm turbulence and lack of breathing
Where have all the long nights gone?
The sun seems to show up a minute earlier
And I haven’t quite found my way to rest

The pages hold something dear, to me,
You have got to release before too late
Or the plot ends up stale;
I mean are you even interested in your own unraveling?
Let’s back it up, you back that up,
Let’s put our magicks to each line not once, but twice;
I want to bring the hairs on your skin to a raise

I’m not one for covering everything up,
Ask me and I’ll pour into your lap,
the colors I’ve been seeing in for a time;
I guess there are differences in how some taste too.

It’s such a wild sense, it’s what really drags us to bed
It’s what really everything is going on about,
If you couldn’t taste the tinge, if you couldn’t taste the flow,
Then explain to me why your mouth is open

Don’t shut it now,
We’ve just begun to catch the sweet whispers of flush in your cheeks
Such a sensuous delivery of rosé hips
Let me take a few more sips,
Adjust the captain’s seat and take a dip
Right about now you couldn’t climb much high-on top-higher now that’s height
You twinkling star-Let me say you are sunsational, invincible, bright
Gods can’t help but wonder if they are the ones who’re afraid to die

I think I might

Just one last excuse to keep on stopping by,
I’ll prop you up, when you need, I’m your guy

Don’t wear yourself out, I know my edges are rough

The Time Keeper – 05

Honestly I’ve gone with the winds and where their caresses did take me, we should focus more on how he felt in his shifts

I made the most progress in the first days by mistake,
Chasing moonlight I stayed up too late and lost my way,
In all the corners of the dark I had boisterously played
Strayed so far from what I knew, I had to start life anew
So far down I had traveled now – where to begin to climb
Hand over hand. Long enough had passed
and there it was, the risen sun

He said he had no interest in coin, but It’s hard to take a man’s word for something when everything he desires puts him in line with the convenience of it. Or is that just it; The convenience of it takes our focus off of the real McCoy. What do you mean? Well what use is a good taste without the time to relish it?

The time to enjoy is everything. The time to realize everything else is secondary. The time is all that mattered. And with that the case is left open faced. Go ahead look it straight in the heart and see, that we’ve got just as much a chance as bumping into him on a street corner in the desert. We won’t be going to any deserts. We might miss him then. We will anyways. Who are you? I’m tired is all. It’s the way you say it. You don’t have to be so blunt and broken.

Break it up, be open, the reality is we’ve got the time, and he only has a sliver of it.

How much does anyone really need ? Dig into me. Find what you need.

Nosce Te Ipsum

Do You? When your picking up your poison, do you feel the tinge in your nerves before you drink it down? Do you catch yourself and reason that it will be just fine? I bet you do.

Beautiful and broken pieces shattered glass all along the beach & I be drinking, I be mixing, and it’s not even the weekend

I knew this would come, I knew this would happen. It’s an age old rinse and repeat cycle with stains that never come out. I have been waiting for it. I’ve learned by now what to do, but still haven’t brought myself out to do it. You always want to believe you can prove yourself wrong in these matters – But you know that’s impossible with the intuition you’ve raised.

Write and do things that hurt, move to where you need to go rather than sitting around waiting to become numb to the shit, everything counts, even the small stuff.

I don’t know myself when I’m happy. So I haven’t written. I don’t mean to say that everything that came before was sad or even rooted in it, not at all. It scares me – because I’ve learned so far that I’ve gone and ruined all the happiness that has come before. I know I only brought the inevitable to the surface – Time running its own course would have done this regardless. So I guess I took fate and spun my own jacket. Wore it out and got the fit I was interested in. I’m alright with that. I like wearing and tear. The way you feel after digging a few trenches – Like an ice cold dip in the water is the only kind of refreshing that will get you good. Yeah you’ve got to be good before you can get great, so I go that way and then when I stand up like a wolf from the tundra, hungry and with focused intent, I seek the type of warmth that can only come from filling the belly. A deep warmth the sun can only begin to raise with its rays – A feast that fills you for days

That’s the thing about life, you can be right in it, right there, spending all the time you have with a person, and unless they speak it, unless they give voice to what is on their mind, you’ll never know what they are thinking. You can have ideas, but those ideas are only your own, feelings your own. You can’t know what they are thinking, but that’s the difficulty life throws at us – It’s hard because by default we only get to live one life first hand – All the other perspectives are postulated, hypotheses, drama we mix up in our skulls in hopes that we might have found someone else thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad, to spend together that oh so precious currency we all have come into by being here.

Know you, you’ve got so much you know you want to
I know you wanna,
I know you want to yeah,
You know I wanna,
You know
You know
You go up higher than me some days

Ruins, Vines & Vegetation

And months, maybe years from now you will come back here. It will be familiar, but new things will have begun to show their growth around the old; Much like the things we water soon overtaking what we no longer tend for. You’ll either smile or have a stale sadness come about you – Both are possible, both are fine. It won’t be something you have to deal with forever. You can leave these things; You are vast as the world, and there are places to go find, people to explore, experiences still to feel on your tongue.

Eventually ruins still standing are come upon by others who peer in awe. They see something, curious, a window into possibility, and to them it is magnificent. To them they see  beauty, fragments of art that once grew out from great spirit, which has since moved beyond. And they express their desire to build great things as all this! They talk of leaving behind monuments so that others can one day find them & know that they too lived.

Time, and our relationship to it, is a curiosity. It stops for a while and slows down. Rests its’ hands for a bit, its’ feet; Takes some space, and lets its’ shoulders drop; Before too long it’s at it again, as it usually does. It has no desire to stop or go back, only forward – Very strong willed. Much like time, if you’ve still got breath in you, if you’ve still got moving parts that have places they want to go towards, then you can reignite your passion. You can get up on your feet and begin to dance your dance once more.

I often don’t know what to say, because the things piled in my mouth do not yet have a place. There is no ear I can release them to, and no bed I can put them up in. They are without shelter outside of Pan’s labyrinth, which can often be a dangerous place; No worries of dangers though, I am beyond their threats.

Like ruins I’ll still be here until I’m not – You know how it goes.

Quotes for Quenching 28

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Well isn’t this just the place to be right now. I’ve got a lighter that doesn’t work, and nothing to burn anyways so there isn’t any reason to be worried about bad habits. He laughed and decided to play a real slow tune that turned real introspective. At about this time she walked in. Up until this point, you’ve all been biting your tongue about how this all started, where it all began. Well my memory is corrupt with dreams, and the records were never kept well so I can’t tell you with complete honesty. This may be a good place to mark as one of the beginnings though

Have you ever thought where did the time go?
Have you claimed there was no way that was only ten minutes?
Swore more than a quarter, more than a half had passed?
Yet here you are scratching your head like time has stood still.
And all the while you freeze, whoever has done it is staring up at you.
This is not magic, but it is weird – As soon as you move to act
It becomes divine comedy
You want it to slow back down to a crawl,
but it speeds ahead faster than you can register.
You’ve had your first laugh, your last kiss,
and everything in between all in the span of a drink – or was it two?

And let me guess Mr. … You’re a salesman.
Hardly do I want to sell you anything
A humanitarian?
Don’t rope me in with them.
You don’t want the best for people?
Depends on what people you’re referring to.
The two persons engaged in exchange.
And what is it we happen to be exchanging?
Well it certainly isn’t possessions or the local currency.
Then smiles it is.
You want to make me laugh don’t you?
I wouldn’t say I want to make you do a thing.
But you would like to see me enjoying myself.
I think that would be something I could get behind
Good. It was nice speaking with you, sir, I hope you have a grand evening.
Wait,  where are you going?
Are you trying to follow me? She smiled and turned to go.
No, I just wasn’t expecting –
Anything. You shouldn’t expect anything.
I shouldn’t expect anything you’re absolutely right

The barkeep smirked as our focus watched her leave the place.
Our man turned back to the bar and decided it was time to part.
So soon? asked the keeper. So soon? The night must be at end!
You only got here at half passed six. Half passed six it’s nearly..
Well would you look at that – A peculiar occurrence has taken me.

My watch stopped. “He cheated again,” said the man in the gallery.

I Was Going Through The Levels

I know what you want. I know what you’re looking for – Why don’t you just come ask for it – It’s not like it’s lost, it doesn’t need to be found. You don’t even need a map to get to it. All those things you’ve scrawled out in the mornings like you were invigorated, like new life came beckoning you out into the wild to seek a glimpse of your tattered soul; It’s a chase after the thrills of the primitive hunt; An excuse so that deep down you can cover up the sanctimonious lie you pour over yourself when you need a drink – But hey, it’s nine in the afternoon somewhere right?

I was going real high there,
I felt like I could really fly you here.
Like I had all those things they sing about;
I’ve got a lot they go without, they don’t know about
Their money isn’t one of them, but I do just fine.
Aim not to let it prey on me,
I’d rather let art be the death of me
I bet I taste better than all that gold
Flavor profile hits all your zones
Frontal view? I’ll slide in the back
Pack it tight so the flight is right
Maybe where I’m taking this is past, ridiculous;
I thought I had the mind for this trick
Like most people I invested, but still couldn’t figure it
Yet nobody has a clue, I’m out the zoo,
I wonder if you know the road, I wonder if you’ll come thru
I wonder if you’ll find your home
I wonder what you wonder too

I cut through to the place you might call deep, but we’re all surface level. I can’t get where your dark corners are with this candle I’m holding, and I wouldn’t even try from where I am. Do you have something to say? No, I guess you didn’t this time around. I couldn’t tell by the way you gazed from the tip of your nose. I wonder if you still know my scent, wonder if I was nearby could you search me out? You should have been there for all the dates I’ve gone on, we all laughed and had a good time, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing has been yet, and I know it’s awful, because everyone wants so much.

I feel like all my words want to leave me
Like it wasn’t fair that I spoke em’ all,
but now they’re here and it’s all you are

I’m patient now, but I wasn’t when I had the time – I know I can keep you up all night

Quotes for Quenching – 18

Do not spend your life searching for a place to call home. Make the bones in your skeleton the only structure you need. – Haley Hendrick

With time as your skeleton, how many years go by before you realize it’s been a while? How many lives will you live before your breath has awakened you, shaken you; I can not bear to watch you approach these crumbling towers. You were born with the will to power, stop running from your strength, stop clinging to your weakness; You don’t realize it but you’ve been building pillars your entire life – It’s time to use them as they were intended.

With or without the light, you stand tall.
Do not wince at the winds in the dark.

The Time Keeper – 04

A long time was spent feeling immured in an unbearable lethargy. Passion was not enough to kick the pistons of his engine into speed, he had lost desire to dream, and felt rampant an emotional irregularity. Yet, It wasn’t all the worst; So much was taken from then, so much that made him thorough, that he could finally lay his head to rest at night, if he ever chose to these days. It can become a terrible thing when you can’t be bothered with sleep. He’s always playing that irony card, yeah he says the same old excuse that most of us do – I don’t have the time – It’s funny though because he has all the time. Which is silly, of course it isn’t his, but there’s so much he could borrow a few and what would it really change?

You see this kid from, well excuse me for not really explaining in detail; I think it was somewhere in Europe. He had a cleverness about him that was far too quick. If he was pinned down in a solo bank heist, here’s the kicker, he’d pin it on the guy next to him. Yes, he’d pin it on someone who he had only moments before convinced that they were the one who planned it from the start. Imagine that! He robbed banks just to help someone else rob a bank they never intended to take. How you get away with that is anything but transparent to the average observer. I know you’re wondering how this kid has anything to do with the time keeper. He has everything to do with him though, and that’s why it’s such a good listen.

Well if worse comes to worse, there is no worst.

The Time Keeper – 03

When talking about time and the keeper, some words just stick a little longer or have a funny chime to them. And that’s because for him it always is happening, that damned chime, all the time. I mean it is hard to get away from a person who is always there, and of course I mean everywhere – but he only has to be present when you take a little risk – Most the time he doesn’t have to stop in; but you get to scratching, when you start thinking about hanging the moon where it shouldn’t be, even for a couple of seconds… well he has to intervene. It’s got to be done. Do you know what happens if someone gets away with one minute? No, that was a question I’m considering. I’m not all that certain what, if anything, happens. The way he keeps everything cut, I’d imagine it has got to be dire; All those suits couldn’t possibly be acting out of fear, the unknown couldn’t frighten them into form from all the way back in antiquity till eternity one.

It’s good, you’re not asking questions – Is my head still on straight at this point? What does it matter;
Although I am skeptical of a person who isn’t the least bit curious in veering off the highlighted route.

The only people that should be afraid of change are the people who benefit from things staying the same, which is only in the short run –  Unless you have limited vision